Rhetorical question
This is from a post from another blog of mine but I wanted to share.
I saw a commercial with little girls and they were talking about how when we are grown up people say that they can be whatever we want. Or what the commercial should say is you can be what you want as long as it conforms to societies expectations. I don't understand is as children we are encouraged to be whatever we want. When we try to be what we want as adults, we are told that is impossible or what is the point of being that. That isn't going to make a lot of money. Or what is Anthropology? What are you suppose to do with that? IT would just be nice as adults, we could have the same encouragement and guidance as when we were children. I think adults would of more fulling existences if there wasn't as much you can't do that.Or that is impossible.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Life & Death of Attila
I've had Attila for almost 11 years. I got him from Lakeland Animal Shelter in Elkhorn.. When I went to the shelter I had my heart set on getting another black cat. My previous cat Cuddles was a black cat. Really I just wanted a snugly lap cat.. I found it in Attila. When I saw him in a cage, part of his body was shaved off, he had no hair on his tail. Apparently when he was found, he was so knotted up they had to shave him. I put my fingers in his cage and he rubbed up against me. A person at the shelter took him out of his cage and put him on my lap and on my lap he has stayed for the past 11 years. Was it love at first sight or destiny that is up to you. I like to think that cats pick you and not the other way around.
BTW the name Attila was the name on the cage at the shelter. The lady at the shelter wanted me to name him Pepper because of the freckles on his nose. I was gonna name him Caesar because he was gonna be emperor of the house. Attila was fine with me. Attila the hunny bunny, I prefer.
He had a life of snuggles, sleeping and eating. Everything a male dreams about I guess. I notice a few aliments here and there but it wasn't until June that shit hit the fan. He was diagnosed with kidney disease, he had blockage in his bowels and bladder. He pulled through. Every week since his diagnosis, he has been going to Bayshore Veterinary for fluids. Every month since then up until a few short weeks ago he has been stable, and gaining weight.
What went wrong?
About 2 weeks or so ago I started to notice that his breathe was really stinky. Then I started to notice that his teeth weren't looking right. All of a sudden the left side of his face didn't look right. On Friday the vet tech asked me "did you notice his face is swollen" and I said yes and I wanted it to be looked at.. So the vet looked at him and said it was possibly a tumor by the look of it in his mouth. He gave me an option to have it sampled or to take antibiotics just in came it was an infection. Well I took the antibiotics. I just wanted to give it the benefit out the doubt. Though deep in my heart I knew it was probably a tumor. My dad had a dog name Tank that suffered from a tumor in the mouth and he had to be put down.
I was suppose to bring Attila back in a week for a check up. I had a horrible feeling that the next few days were going to be our last. I swear when the vet told me it was possible that it was a tumor that the word Game Over flashed above his head.
Over the weekend he did his normal cat things like eat and wanted snuggles but also seemed subdued. He slept a lot in the same place and I could tell he just wasn't up to par. Also the swelling in his mouth didn't go down.
Here comes Monday. Monday I had a meeting mid morning so I was up by 8. I gave him some canned food with the antibiotic. He perked up at the sound of the can but didn't get off the couch so I just gave it to him on the couch.. At one point he jumped on my lap for snuggles. Eventually he went into the bedroom and spent the rest of the morning there. After my meeting I went to the bedroom and petted his head and noticed that some brown ooze was coming out of his mouth. When he opened his mouth I knew something wasn't right.
So I took him to the vet. They sedated him and did an X-Ray. When the vet came him and put the X-Ray on the window, it knew it was over. The tumor was huge it took over the whole half of his mouth. Attila had already started to loose teeth.
I could of taken him home for the night but I just couldn't do it. The thought of him just being home and in pain would of just ripped me up. He was already sedated so I just decided to let him go. They brought him in and he was wrapped in a towel, so he was warm. I just balled my eyes out, petted his head and told him I loved him and I was gonna miss him. I think I just repeating I gonna miss you. At one point he lifted his head up.
I don' know if he was trying to come out of it, or if he was just trying to let me know Its ok or please don't do this to me. Eventually he put his head down. The vet came back in and did what he did and it was over.After that I stayed with him and balled some more. Eventually I asked for some of his hair and I went home. Balled some more.
Attila really tried to hide it from me. He was a true stoic. There is just so much we can learn by taking care of an animal or a person. Love, compassion, empathy. Know when to keep going and when its time to say good bye. .Emotionally I'll never let him go.
BTW the name Attila was the name on the cage at the shelter. The lady at the shelter wanted me to name him Pepper because of the freckles on his nose. I was gonna name him Caesar because he was gonna be emperor of the house. Attila was fine with me. Attila the hunny bunny, I prefer.
He had a life of snuggles, sleeping and eating. Everything a male dreams about I guess. I notice a few aliments here and there but it wasn't until June that shit hit the fan. He was diagnosed with kidney disease, he had blockage in his bowels and bladder. He pulled through. Every week since his diagnosis, he has been going to Bayshore Veterinary for fluids. Every month since then up until a few short weeks ago he has been stable, and gaining weight.
What went wrong?
About 2 weeks or so ago I started to notice that his breathe was really stinky. Then I started to notice that his teeth weren't looking right. All of a sudden the left side of his face didn't look right. On Friday the vet tech asked me "did you notice his face is swollen" and I said yes and I wanted it to be looked at.. So the vet looked at him and said it was possibly a tumor by the look of it in his mouth. He gave me an option to have it sampled or to take antibiotics just in came it was an infection. Well I took the antibiotics. I just wanted to give it the benefit out the doubt. Though deep in my heart I knew it was probably a tumor. My dad had a dog name Tank that suffered from a tumor in the mouth and he had to be put down.
I was suppose to bring Attila back in a week for a check up. I had a horrible feeling that the next few days were going to be our last. I swear when the vet told me it was possible that it was a tumor that the word Game Over flashed above his head.
Over the weekend he did his normal cat things like eat and wanted snuggles but also seemed subdued. He slept a lot in the same place and I could tell he just wasn't up to par. Also the swelling in his mouth didn't go down.
Here comes Monday. Monday I had a meeting mid morning so I was up by 8. I gave him some canned food with the antibiotic. He perked up at the sound of the can but didn't get off the couch so I just gave it to him on the couch.. At one point he jumped on my lap for snuggles. Eventually he went into the bedroom and spent the rest of the morning there. After my meeting I went to the bedroom and petted his head and noticed that some brown ooze was coming out of his mouth. When he opened his mouth I knew something wasn't right.
So I took him to the vet. They sedated him and did an X-Ray. When the vet came him and put the X-Ray on the window, it knew it was over. The tumor was huge it took over the whole half of his mouth. Attila had already started to loose teeth.
I could of taken him home for the night but I just couldn't do it. The thought of him just being home and in pain would of just ripped me up. He was already sedated so I just decided to let him go. They brought him in and he was wrapped in a towel, so he was warm. I just balled my eyes out, petted his head and told him I loved him and I was gonna miss him. I think I just repeating I gonna miss you. At one point he lifted his head up.
I don' know if he was trying to come out of it, or if he was just trying to let me know Its ok or please don't do this to me. Eventually he put his head down. The vet came back in and did what he did and it was over.After that I stayed with him and balled some more. Eventually I asked for some of his hair and I went home. Balled some more.
Attila really tried to hide it from me. He was a true stoic. There is just so much we can learn by taking care of an animal or a person. Love, compassion, empathy. Know when to keep going and when its time to say good bye. .Emotionally I'll never let him go.
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