Well so far college has been going good. I'm enjoying most of my classes. My hardest class is English. Why? Because its been hard to keep up with. Its a more accelerated than what I had anticipated. Not to mention I had to update my MLA handbook because it was about 13 years old. Which is why I wanted to take English, because I needed a serious brushing up on how to write for college. Too much time writing on the Internet you can lose it all.
At the end of September my GI doctor prescribed me another medication. The previous medication did nothing. At first the new medication also did nothing. About 5 or 6 days after taking the new medication, things started to go down hill fast. Last weekend my stomach started getting queasy. By Tue I was fully nauseated and projectiling. Great right in the middle of Mid-Term week, I'm projectiling. Just what I wanted. I called the doctor and they immediately wanted me to stop taking the medication and to start taking another medication. Which I haven't started yet. So Thurs I was still very ill, and I manage to take my self to the ER. I have huge bruises on my arms for it. and I had a history mid-term and a paper due for English that day. I was given two types of anti nausea medicine and a bag of fluids. That should of taken care of the issue. Nope. I was back in the ER on Sat.
This time I had to call and have my sister drive up from Burlington to take me to the ER, because I was feeling too weak and still projectiling, I knew that I would not survive a 40 min bus ride to the ER. This round of anti nausea medicine and fluids finally gave me the relief. I needed. For now.
In the meantime I have miss a full week of school and the week before I'm missing assignments because I didn't get them done from dealing with the medication at home. Once again my shell is reminding me of my limitations. I really hate that. I'm constantly at battle with my shell and my mind. My mind wants to conquer the world my shell puts me back to earth. It's the whole will of mind over matter. Sometimes I find the will to function despite my ills and sometimes I can't. Sometimes it makes me look dumb for being sick and still going out. When you are single and have no one to really rely on to take care of you when you are ill, you become a rock in a hard place. Then it makes you look dumb to go to class sick. Yet, there are attendance policies. Really frustrating. I just wish my shell would keep calm and let me do what I want. Being in school and doing well..Not laying in the ER being poked and jabbed twice in a week.Yeah back to the GI specialist on Wed.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Friday, August 10, 2012
Dating and Plenty of Fish
Tonight is the last straw on Plenty of Fish. Over a year ago I created a profile. It was pretty much out of peer pressure.My friend badgered me for two weeks to get an account because she had one and girly comrade BS. Nothing serious has come about it except on occasion really creepy messenger conversations. Tonight is final straw. The final thing this man said to me tonight is "I better have sex soon or no one will want to fuck me in a few years because I will be too old." After that I logged off. Pardon me but Viagra and Calais don't exist because people stop having sex over 35. He mostly said it because he saw my profile pic and it is me in my wheelchair, which pissed me off more.
After a little dating in my 20's and spending what little time on Plenty of Fish, I have come to the conclusion that the male species is perverted and fucked up in the head. He really pissed me off because on my profile it specifically states that I have no interest in intimate encounters. Which this guy was specifically looking for. Seriously, what is the point of putting all this information if no one reads it? He would of saved us both time he would of completely read my profile and not talked to me at all.
I have to say that since I have gotten this account I pretty much have been a troll. Not in a creepy sense but in a I like to read profiles and do nothing. I have rarely made contact and when I have I get no reply. I guess that is how I see my love life. I'm interested they are not. Some guys have randomly contactd me and that is when I end up talking to the creeps.
Guys on POF should collectively put one one profile up based on similar interests. I have read the same type of profiles over and over again. It would save all of us girls a lot of time. You are athletic, check. You like the outdoors, Check, and you want a girl who it athletic, outdoorsy and slutty, double check.
Like I said I really wasn't interested in getting this account. Back in April of 2006 I dumped somebody who was mentally and emotionally abusive to me. I pretty much lost all desire to date. Believe me this dating website has not given any much of a reason to want to start again.
After a little dating in my 20's and spending what little time on Plenty of Fish, I have come to the conclusion that the male species is perverted and fucked up in the head. He really pissed me off because on my profile it specifically states that I have no interest in intimate encounters. Which this guy was specifically looking for. Seriously, what is the point of putting all this information if no one reads it? He would of saved us both time he would of completely read my profile and not talked to me at all.
I have to say that since I have gotten this account I pretty much have been a troll. Not in a creepy sense but in a I like to read profiles and do nothing. I have rarely made contact and when I have I get no reply. I guess that is how I see my love life. I'm interested they are not. Some guys have randomly contactd me and that is when I end up talking to the creeps.
Guys on POF should collectively put one one profile up based on similar interests. I have read the same type of profiles over and over again. It would save all of us girls a lot of time. You are athletic, check. You like the outdoors, Check, and you want a girl who it athletic, outdoorsy and slutty, double check.
Like I said I really wasn't interested in getting this account. Back in April of 2006 I dumped somebody who was mentally and emotionally abusive to me. I pretty much lost all desire to date. Believe me this dating website has not given any much of a reason to want to start again.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
As I find myself getting ready to return to school, I have been thinking about all the things I said I wanted to be when I grew up. Occupational wise anyways. I know when I was real little I said I wanted to be a doctor. Well that didn't last long. I spent a lot of my childhood dealing with doctors and being in the hospital to ad nauseum.
Then I said I wanted to be an artist. The thought of being an artist has lasted with me throughout my life. I discovered that it is something that courses through my veins whether I like it or not. Once I found the other side of my genes, I found out that my brother was also great at drawing. Though his style is more comic book and horror. I wish I had taken a picture of the drawing of Spawn he had on a wall, when he was living in Florida. As I dug for my ancestors I found out that one of my great grandfathers on my dad's side was an artist and actually locally sold some of his art. My dad has one of his pieces of art. He painted on an oval mirror and it looks like a land scape. He made rocks out of clay and other pieces to give a 3D effect.
In that retrospect I have toyed with the idea recently about learning animation. I love animation. I doesn't even matter what style it is, I love animation. Even though I'm 32, I'm still a huge cartoon head. Thanks to Netflix, I get to re-watch old 80's and 90's cartoons. I hate to admit it but I'm watching Jem and the Holograms as we speak. The theme song is really catchy and sticks in your head. It's a real piece of 80's pop culture.
There is another part of me that is very strong and has stuck with me for a long time. When speaking about digging for ancestors, I have to profess my love for reading and researching history. My first love for history was reading about the American Revolution. I really think people should read or re read about our forefathers and their actual writings. Don't believe what comes out of the mouths of politicians about our forefathers, its really miss quoted and construed to their liking. Because of it I find myself wanting to re read about this incredible time in our history. When I see tea par tiers using the Don't Tread on me flag, it just really upsets me.
So up to about 5th 6th, I read a lot of American history. 6th grade, I started to learn about Egypt and the ancient world and I was hooked. I went to the field museum in Chicago that year and love it. I loved it so much I tinkered with the idea that I wanted to work there one day. There is a apart of me that still wants to work for the Field Museum. I told people that I wanted to be a historian. I have been reading and researching about ancient Egypt and the ancient world ever since.
About 8th grade someone had mention to me about being an Anthropologist. I wish I remember who that person was, because of them, my life hasn't been the same. What I really wanted to be was an archeologist. I love the thought of find missing pieces of history that we don't have. A person, an event, a piece of technology, or a work of art. I know that I can't be in a pit digging but I knew I wanted to be apart of the process. I like the idea of working in an archeology lab or being a curator. There is so much history we don't know or know little of. I like to think about the people and events we need to rediscover.
Anthropology/Archeology has stuck with me since I have learned about it. I still want work in the field.
I started to doubt myself a lot after I failed Latin and got dropped from UWM. The ancient world is what I wanted to my specialty to be. How can I be, when I failed at learning an ancient language? I have to reconcile with that.
As I have said before, I love researching and for the past 3 years I have been working on my family history. It's been emotional and even frustrating at times, but I have been using what I think is a natural talent to find my own missing pieces of my own history. All of my work is now on ancestry.com.
Other random occupations: Owning a pet photography studio, being a tornado chaser, cake decorator, ballroom dancer, paleontologist and documentary filmmaker.
Just remember boys and girls an archeologist recovers the remains of humans and what they have left behind, and paleontologist studies dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. It's amazing how many people mix up the two.
I hope as I go back to school that I can combine the things I love into one satisfying occupation, that doesn't make me feel like I'm depriving one side of me. Most of all I don't want to hear you can't do that from the naysayers.
Then I said I wanted to be an artist. The thought of being an artist has lasted with me throughout my life. I discovered that it is something that courses through my veins whether I like it or not. Once I found the other side of my genes, I found out that my brother was also great at drawing. Though his style is more comic book and horror. I wish I had taken a picture of the drawing of Spawn he had on a wall, when he was living in Florida. As I dug for my ancestors I found out that one of my great grandfathers on my dad's side was an artist and actually locally sold some of his art. My dad has one of his pieces of art. He painted on an oval mirror and it looks like a land scape. He made rocks out of clay and other pieces to give a 3D effect.
In that retrospect I have toyed with the idea recently about learning animation. I love animation. I doesn't even matter what style it is, I love animation. Even though I'm 32, I'm still a huge cartoon head. Thanks to Netflix, I get to re-watch old 80's and 90's cartoons. I hate to admit it but I'm watching Jem and the Holograms as we speak. The theme song is really catchy and sticks in your head. It's a real piece of 80's pop culture.
There is another part of me that is very strong and has stuck with me for a long time. When speaking about digging for ancestors, I have to profess my love for reading and researching history. My first love for history was reading about the American Revolution. I really think people should read or re read about our forefathers and their actual writings. Don't believe what comes out of the mouths of politicians about our forefathers, its really miss quoted and construed to their liking. Because of it I find myself wanting to re read about this incredible time in our history. When I see tea par tiers using the Don't Tread on me flag, it just really upsets me.
So up to about 5th 6th, I read a lot of American history. 6th grade, I started to learn about Egypt and the ancient world and I was hooked. I went to the field museum in Chicago that year and love it. I loved it so much I tinkered with the idea that I wanted to work there one day. There is a apart of me that still wants to work for the Field Museum. I told people that I wanted to be a historian. I have been reading and researching about ancient Egypt and the ancient world ever since.
About 8th grade someone had mention to me about being an Anthropologist. I wish I remember who that person was, because of them, my life hasn't been the same. What I really wanted to be was an archeologist. I love the thought of find missing pieces of history that we don't have. A person, an event, a piece of technology, or a work of art. I know that I can't be in a pit digging but I knew I wanted to be apart of the process. I like the idea of working in an archeology lab or being a curator. There is so much history we don't know or know little of. I like to think about the people and events we need to rediscover.
Anthropology/Archeology has stuck with me since I have learned about it. I still want work in the field.
I started to doubt myself a lot after I failed Latin and got dropped from UWM. The ancient world is what I wanted to my specialty to be. How can I be, when I failed at learning an ancient language? I have to reconcile with that.
As I have said before, I love researching and for the past 3 years I have been working on my family history. It's been emotional and even frustrating at times, but I have been using what I think is a natural talent to find my own missing pieces of my own history. All of my work is now on ancestry.com.
Other random occupations: Owning a pet photography studio, being a tornado chaser, cake decorator, ballroom dancer, paleontologist and documentary filmmaker.
Just remember boys and girls an archeologist recovers the remains of humans and what they have left behind, and paleontologist studies dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. It's amazing how many people mix up the two.
I hope as I go back to school that I can combine the things I love into one satisfying occupation, that doesn't make me feel like I'm depriving one side of me. Most of all I don't want to hear you can't do that from the naysayers.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
A dream from 01/02. I just wanted to tell you and see what you think after the other dream that I recorded.
My child is about to have surgery. She is a blonde child that looks like my sister Haley. I put her on a examine table. I held the child's hand the whole time that she was on the table. The doctor comes in and says its time to go. He puts an IV in. The IV was suppose to go into the child's arm and instead he puts it into my arm. I feel the pain from the IV. At the same time I'm still holding the child hand. I tell the doctor that he put the IV into me and then he takes the IV out. After he takes the IV out, I leave the room. I go into another room. I'm in a disorganized graduation ceremony. People were getting ready. I think I was late. Everyone lines up to go out to the stage. I dont think I made it outside the room. In the dream I never walked outside the room.
Jan 7, 2006
Dream
I'm at a graduation ceremony. I'm dressed in graduation attrire. The colors of the graduation gown is exctly from high school. I'm sitting in a chair and then everyone in the row stands up. They atart to move in a single file one way. I became confused on where I was suppose to go so I just follow the group. We go to a backstage area and someone talks to us. We get into a single file line again to head towards the stage. On the side of us there were several boxes with items in them. We were grab a item out of them. I remember saying that I needed a tassel so I grabbed one from a box. In another box I bragged a round and blue that was in plastic. Somebody hands me a diploma and a man shakes hands with me. He seems to be a little crazy. I dont remember walking on the stage. I heard someone say that there was an issue on how I was going to get on the stage. The scene goes back to the backstage area. People are standing around and talking in groups. I did talk to a few people. Suddenly a man appears in the balcony area. (Up high) He is dark haired and handsome looking. People in the room started to panic. They start to run and scatter. The room goes in flames. The flames move quickly and many people were burned to death. I was running also as the flames head towards me. The dream ends before I know whether or not I survived.
Dec 10, 2005
Here are two hospital type dreams
I dream t that I had to make another trip to the emergency room but then transfers to a pharmacy. I was talking to the pharmacist and he tells me something unusual. I had rectal worms.
Another was that was in the hospital. I considered part of the dream pleasant because Brad Pitt was in it. We were friends and he was a doctor. We had hugged a number of times. The more nightmare part of the dreams is that I'm laying on a hospital bed and in pain. The doctors are telling me that they want to do a back probe on me.
There are several characters in this dream. Me who was pregnant and another person who was happy, sings and enjoys cheering people up on their birthdays. I see this person go through a chest and pick things out for people's birthdays that they might enjoy. There were also two other characters. They wanted to kill me. I don't remember any motive for it. I saw that they were behind me and the happy person stopped them.
I dream t a watery type world. There were a series of events. A wresting event was going on. I don't remember seeing any famous wrestlers. One wrestler asked me to join in on the event. The arena was circular and concrete. Somebody might to tried to come after me. I made a full lap around the arena. The wrestler says that I passed the test. Then I see a town that is on water, possibly from flood. I walked through the town. I made a comment that the lost city of Atlantis is off the coast of Hawaii. I see an areal view of an island.
Then I'm in the ocean and then there is a threat that there is a shark after me. I jump out of the water onto a wall. I'm looking at the water and it has a sphere look to it. I see no shark and I survived the event. Once again I go to a watery area and I see a contraption. It's in water and it has bars on it. Like the ones you would see on a roller coaster. I hear an announcement for people to get on the contraption. It's a hurricane tester. It tests to see if you can handle being in a hurricane. The wind starts to get heavy and the dream ends.
People were after me. I don't know why. I know that I was not the only person that they were after. At one point I'm on the floor and a man has a gun pointing at me. He is a shadowy figure and is tall. I get a away from him by smashing a chair at him. Then the scene changes to being on a bus. There are several people on the bus. We were all scared. I don't recall anybody on the bus being from real life. Every time someone would say that they are near everyone would duck down into the seat. The interesting part about it was that the bus windows had blinds on them and I saw some people put the blinds down.
A comment that I made to my myself was that if there were blinds then why duck.??
I'm in a house and there was a cobra loose. It was an unusual cobra because of the color pattern. Bright red with strips almost like a coral snake. The snake tried to bite and attack me several times. People were afraid of it but the cobra did not attack them. In an aquarium tank I see another snake but it was non threatening and somewhat sedentary. Somebody helps put the cobra back in the the aquarium. After a few moments pass my mom comes up to me and tells me that I'm pregnant. I remember being confused because I hadn't had sex in six months and I told people that. I started to feel pregnant because my belly felt bigger. I walked into a bedroom and was looking at a white dresser. I was telling someone where I wanted to put the crib.
I was with my mom in a car and we see a bunch of rummage sales. I suggested this one rummage sale and she rejected it. I remember seeing a bunch of stuff animals there and there was one that I wanted. Finally after a while she sees one that she wants to stop at. I see clothes that are in different sizes and my mom is all excited about it. Then the dream changes into a carnival. After roaming around I decided to go home. So I waited at a bus stop. I'm in my wheelchair. A bus comes and the bus driver would not help me get on the bus. The driver was a black woman almost looking like queen latifa. So I had to crawl up the bus and leave my wheelchair behind. I'm very angry about it. The bus is moving and then makes a stop. A old woman with a cane comes on. Eventually the bus stops at my stop. I made a remark to the bus driver how I'm going to have to go back and get my wheelchair. She makes a remark that its not her job. I tell her that it is her job to assist me on the bus. I crawl off the bus, looked at the woman and the bus go away. I started to crawl up to a house with a porch. I get up to the porch and I see Tony. He barely looks at me and walks away. I thought he would be mad at me for being gone for so long. Then I see my sister Haley and my dad. I talked to my sister and then she tells me that she is going to ride her bike. I noticed that a set of keys were under a mat on the porch but you can tell that they were there. I talked to my dad, I don't remember what he said to me. I told him about what had happened. The last thing I remember was saying that I was going back.
Aug 12, 2005
I wake up and look outside the window and see that the world is being flooded. I see raging waters similar to rapids and waterfalls. I panic and try to wake people up. I'm on the second floor of a house in a bedroom. The first person I wake up is my sister Holly. I remember a small black dog too. It was friendly and always wanting my affection. Holly's friend Nicole was also in the bedroom. I remember her sitting at a vanity and she was throwing necklaces around in a panic. I told her not to throw a particular necklace around because my ex bf gave it to me. In the meantime I keep looking outside the window and seeing the raging waters. I leave the room and wake up my mother. We go back into Holly's room. A earthquake happens. I remember hearing sirens several times. I go into another room possibly back into my mother's room and open a window and see a man climbing a tree. He hands me several items. I think he said some of them where artifacts. I remember one in particular because because it was a box with a specific shape and it had old writting on it like from the late 1800's/early 1900's. I dont remember what the box had said. I help the man out of the tree and into the house. I dont see this man for the rest of the dream. I quickly go downstairs and I see a pantry. I take my diapers out of the package, to put food in the package. I see on the floor packages of cookies all over and I remember seeing a dining room. I ask my mom what should I grab and she smiles and says dont bother.
The part I don't get at the end is if there was flooding going on why was I able to get to the downstairs.
July 23, 2004
I mention Tigerlilly for the first time.
July 7, 2004
Dream
Me and a man are lying in a bed together ...We were talking and cuddling. I suggested to have sex and he tells me no. He told me he was a virgin. I didn't believe him but I respected his answer. We fell asleep together on the bed. I wake up and I had wet the bed. I'm really upset and crying. He tells me that it's ok and he helps me out of bed. The dream goes into another scene where I'm trying to get a hold of this man and I'm unable to. Then I see another scene and I'm in a hallway such as one in a high school and a guy comes up to me and tells me that the man hated my guts. Once again I was upset. For some reason I go outside and I see the man sitting in my wheelchair. I tell him to give me my wheelchair back. I need it. He taunts at me. At the end of the dream he rolls away with my wheelchair.
Another episode of dreams. About 3 or so that I can remember.
The most intense dream was I find my sister being attacked by a wolf in a house. The wolf had caused damage on her. I restrained the wolf by holding it by the back of its neck. I remember its growling and also trying to attack me . The wolf if i remember right did not attack me. But some how i managed to keep it down.
Maybe another dream might of taken in the same house I found the wolf in. It was haunted. I saw all types of strange things going on. Transparent beings going threw walls. Things moving that normally would not move. I remember not wanting to be in the house and wanting to go out.
Another dream was a lecturing dream. My mother was lecturing me about having a debit card and a credit card.
Another dream was a more humorous dream...Characters in the tv show the fresh prince of bell air was in it. Me and some of the characters were having a slide contest. There was a a crowd that was cheering and boooing at the best stunt going down a slide. No winner declared that i remember.
My child is about to have surgery. She is a blonde child that looks like my sister Haley. I put her on a examine table. I held the child's hand the whole time that she was on the table. The doctor comes in and says its time to go. He puts an IV in. The IV was suppose to go into the child's arm and instead he puts it into my arm. I feel the pain from the IV. At the same time I'm still holding the child hand. I tell the doctor that he put the IV into me and then he takes the IV out. After he takes the IV out, I leave the room. I go into another room. I'm in a disorganized graduation ceremony. People were getting ready. I think I was late. Everyone lines up to go out to the stage. I dont think I made it outside the room. In the dream I never walked outside the room.
Jan 7, 2006
Dream
I'm at a graduation ceremony. I'm dressed in graduation attrire. The colors of the graduation gown is exctly from high school. I'm sitting in a chair and then everyone in the row stands up. They atart to move in a single file one way. I became confused on where I was suppose to go so I just follow the group. We go to a backstage area and someone talks to us. We get into a single file line again to head towards the stage. On the side of us there were several boxes with items in them. We were grab a item out of them. I remember saying that I needed a tassel so I grabbed one from a box. In another box I bragged a round and blue that was in plastic. Somebody hands me a diploma and a man shakes hands with me. He seems to be a little crazy. I dont remember walking on the stage. I heard someone say that there was an issue on how I was going to get on the stage. The scene goes back to the backstage area. People are standing around and talking in groups. I did talk to a few people. Suddenly a man appears in the balcony area. (Up high) He is dark haired and handsome looking. People in the room started to panic. They start to run and scatter. The room goes in flames. The flames move quickly and many people were burned to death. I was running also as the flames head towards me. The dream ends before I know whether or not I survived.
Dec 10, 2005
Here are two hospital type dreams
I dream t that I had to make another trip to the emergency room but then transfers to a pharmacy. I was talking to the pharmacist and he tells me something unusual. I had rectal worms.
Another was that was in the hospital. I considered part of the dream pleasant because Brad Pitt was in it. We were friends and he was a doctor. We had hugged a number of times. The more nightmare part of the dreams is that I'm laying on a hospital bed and in pain. The doctors are telling me that they want to do a back probe on me.
There are several characters in this dream. Me who was pregnant and another person who was happy, sings and enjoys cheering people up on their birthdays. I see this person go through a chest and pick things out for people's birthdays that they might enjoy. There were also two other characters. They wanted to kill me. I don't remember any motive for it. I saw that they were behind me and the happy person stopped them.
I dream t a watery type world. There were a series of events. A wresting event was going on. I don't remember seeing any famous wrestlers. One wrestler asked me to join in on the event. The arena was circular and concrete. Somebody might to tried to come after me. I made a full lap around the arena. The wrestler says that I passed the test. Then I see a town that is on water, possibly from flood. I walked through the town. I made a comment that the lost city of Atlantis is off the coast of Hawaii. I see an areal view of an island.
Then I'm in the ocean and then there is a threat that there is a shark after me. I jump out of the water onto a wall. I'm looking at the water and it has a sphere look to it. I see no shark and I survived the event. Once again I go to a watery area and I see a contraption. It's in water and it has bars on it. Like the ones you would see on a roller coaster. I hear an announcement for people to get on the contraption. It's a hurricane tester. It tests to see if you can handle being in a hurricane. The wind starts to get heavy and the dream ends.
People were after me. I don't know why. I know that I was not the only person that they were after. At one point I'm on the floor and a man has a gun pointing at me. He is a shadowy figure and is tall. I get a away from him by smashing a chair at him. Then the scene changes to being on a bus. There are several people on the bus. We were all scared. I don't recall anybody on the bus being from real life. Every time someone would say that they are near everyone would duck down into the seat. The interesting part about it was that the bus windows had blinds on them and I saw some people put the blinds down.
A comment that I made to my myself was that if there were blinds then why duck.??
I'm in a house and there was a cobra loose. It was an unusual cobra because of the color pattern. Bright red with strips almost like a coral snake. The snake tried to bite and attack me several times. People were afraid of it but the cobra did not attack them. In an aquarium tank I see another snake but it was non threatening and somewhat sedentary. Somebody helps put the cobra back in the the aquarium. After a few moments pass my mom comes up to me and tells me that I'm pregnant. I remember being confused because I hadn't had sex in six months and I told people that. I started to feel pregnant because my belly felt bigger. I walked into a bedroom and was looking at a white dresser. I was telling someone where I wanted to put the crib.
I was with my mom in a car and we see a bunch of rummage sales. I suggested this one rummage sale and she rejected it. I remember seeing a bunch of stuff animals there and there was one that I wanted. Finally after a while she sees one that she wants to stop at. I see clothes that are in different sizes and my mom is all excited about it. Then the dream changes into a carnival. After roaming around I decided to go home. So I waited at a bus stop. I'm in my wheelchair. A bus comes and the bus driver would not help me get on the bus. The driver was a black woman almost looking like queen latifa. So I had to crawl up the bus and leave my wheelchair behind. I'm very angry about it. The bus is moving and then makes a stop. A old woman with a cane comes on. Eventually the bus stops at my stop. I made a remark to the bus driver how I'm going to have to go back and get my wheelchair. She makes a remark that its not her job. I tell her that it is her job to assist me on the bus. I crawl off the bus, looked at the woman and the bus go away. I started to crawl up to a house with a porch. I get up to the porch and I see Tony. He barely looks at me and walks away. I thought he would be mad at me for being gone for so long. Then I see my sister Haley and my dad. I talked to my sister and then she tells me that she is going to ride her bike. I noticed that a set of keys were under a mat on the porch but you can tell that they were there. I talked to my dad, I don't remember what he said to me. I told him about what had happened. The last thing I remember was saying that I was going back.
Aug 12, 2005
I wake up and look outside the window and see that the world is being flooded. I see raging waters similar to rapids and waterfalls. I panic and try to wake people up. I'm on the second floor of a house in a bedroom. The first person I wake up is my sister Holly. I remember a small black dog too. It was friendly and always wanting my affection. Holly's friend Nicole was also in the bedroom. I remember her sitting at a vanity and she was throwing necklaces around in a panic. I told her not to throw a particular necklace around because my ex bf gave it to me. In the meantime I keep looking outside the window and seeing the raging waters. I leave the room and wake up my mother. We go back into Holly's room. A earthquake happens. I remember hearing sirens several times. I go into another room possibly back into my mother's room and open a window and see a man climbing a tree. He hands me several items. I think he said some of them where artifacts. I remember one in particular because because it was a box with a specific shape and it had old writting on it like from the late 1800's/early 1900's. I dont remember what the box had said. I help the man out of the tree and into the house. I dont see this man for the rest of the dream. I quickly go downstairs and I see a pantry. I take my diapers out of the package, to put food in the package. I see on the floor packages of cookies all over and I remember seeing a dining room. I ask my mom what should I grab and she smiles and says dont bother.
The part I don't get at the end is if there was flooding going on why was I able to get to the downstairs.
July 23, 2004
I mention Tigerlilly for the first time.
July 7, 2004
Dream
Me and a man are lying in a bed together ...We were talking and cuddling. I suggested to have sex and he tells me no. He told me he was a virgin. I didn't believe him but I respected his answer. We fell asleep together on the bed. I wake up and I had wet the bed. I'm really upset and crying. He tells me that it's ok and he helps me out of bed. The dream goes into another scene where I'm trying to get a hold of this man and I'm unable to. Then I see another scene and I'm in a hallway such as one in a high school and a guy comes up to me and tells me that the man hated my guts. Once again I was upset. For some reason I go outside and I see the man sitting in my wheelchair. I tell him to give me my wheelchair back. I need it. He taunts at me. At the end of the dream he rolls away with my wheelchair.
Another episode of dreams. About 3 or so that I can remember.
The most intense dream was I find my sister being attacked by a wolf in a house. The wolf had caused damage on her. I restrained the wolf by holding it by the back of its neck. I remember its growling and also trying to attack me . The wolf if i remember right did not attack me. But some how i managed to keep it down.
Maybe another dream might of taken in the same house I found the wolf in. It was haunted. I saw all types of strange things going on. Transparent beings going threw walls. Things moving that normally would not move. I remember not wanting to be in the house and wanting to go out.
Another dream was a lecturing dream. My mother was lecturing me about having a debit card and a credit card.
Another dream was a more humorous dream...Characters in the tv show the fresh prince of bell air was in it. Me and some of the characters were having a slide contest. There was a a crowd that was cheering and boooing at the best stunt going down a slide. No winner declared that i remember.
Dream May 3, 2006
I'm in a elevator with a woman. The elevator door opens and the elevator becomes unstable. Its feel wabbly. I get out of the elevator, and head towards the stair well.. The stairs are incomplete. The woman and a man try to imprison me. The man tells me that the incomplete stairs represent the gap between the rich and the poor. I'm alone in the dark stair area and I'm trying to escape. I'm using chains that are near me to lift myself up to the next set of stairs.
Me and a woman were working on a project of some sort. Maybe a art and a huge tidal wave had crushed my house to smitherings. Me and this woman had survived the tidal wave.
The other dream I'm a solider stationed on a island between Cuba and the US. I tried to escape from the island. I'm in the ocean swimming. I eventually get caught, tried and imprisoned. I tried to escape again. This time im running through a crowd that is eating outside.. Maybe an outside resturant. I see a helicopter in the sky. I'm back in to the ocean swimming as hard as I can. At the end I see land. I escaped.
May 1, 2006
Poem I got somewhere
Being Me
I'm a woman, a dreamer, a lover and a little girl; I'm me.
I'm a writer, a poet and a wisher.
Dont you see, that I'm me.
I'm not everything I wish I could be.
I'm a tender heart, a taker, a giver and sometimes a keeper.
I'm me, trying to please everyone, to be everything they want me to be.
I'm the ugly duckling, turning into a swan, my features change all of the time.
I'm me, and I'm always the mysterious one.
I'm the quiet one and the the sensitive one too,the watcher and the seeker of what's true.
I'm all of these things and maybe more, but who lets me just be me?
April 10, 2006 Dream
In a church.. You were trying to tell me that you were better off in the outside world. Maybe it was a convent too? As you were telling me people kept interrupting us. Eventually you tell me everything you had to say. After that I remember walking in a hallway and seeing women uniformly walking pass me in groups. They were all dressed the same and I think they all had black hair. The outfits that they wore look like buddist monks outfits except they were black, purple and I think hot pink. Then in the main area and I was sitting in a pew and you were sitting in front of me. After a time the sermon ends don't remember what was said or anything. You stand up to leave first and then I start to leave but then I said goodbye to a bunch of people and I said Happy Easter to them. Sometime in the dream too somebody nailed two knick knacks on the church wall.
March 21, 2006
First one: Someone had told me I was pregnant. I dont remember who told me. I felt pregnant through the whole dream. I was told that it was Tony's baby. I was in denial about being pregnant and I told people that it was impossible for me to be pregnant because I have not had sex since June of last year. I was put in the hospital. In one scene I remember being on a streacher and a nurse was trying to put a IV in me. In another scene somebody asked me about my schooling. I told them the only thing that was stopping me from going to school was 3200 dollars. I kept telling people the pregnancy must be a mistake and that I must have a tumor or something.
Second Dream:In this dream i was not told who the father was. Nor do I remember anyone telling me I was pregnant. I started to fell nausated. It was seen as labor pains. I'm in a delivery room. I was nausated in the whole dream. I dont rememeber being in serious pain just nausated. I made one push and the baby was born. It was a boy. Im holding him and he is cute and hairy. But it was light hair and he was pinkish looking like a newborn. He didnt cry but he seemed content in my arms. I made a comment that he looked like my dad. After that I decided that I was gonna name him after my dad, except that I wanted to give him a differant middle name and that his last name would be Vogel-Kellison instead of just Vogel. I remember my mom being there too but she was happy After the birth I think I almost threw up.
After these two dream I had two more but I dont have great deal of memory of them. One was that Holly was pregnant with a girl. The child was weird looking though. She had orange curly hair. Holly has straight dark brown hair. The other was another dream about me bring pregnant and I was in pain again. Except this time I didnt give birth and I found out that I was having a girl.
Well Last night Holly called me and told me she was pregnant. All this week I was bothered by this pregancy dreams and I was trying to find a good interpreation of them. The one that I was thinking that I had creativty in me that needs to come out but has not way of doing it and because not being able to express that creativty it is making me sick. Or was it just a prediction that someone in my family was pregnant ???
I'm in a elevator with a woman. The elevator door opens and the elevator becomes unstable. Its feel wabbly. I get out of the elevator, and head towards the stair well.. The stairs are incomplete. The woman and a man try to imprison me. The man tells me that the incomplete stairs represent the gap between the rich and the poor. I'm alone in the dark stair area and I'm trying to escape. I'm using chains that are near me to lift myself up to the next set of stairs.
Me and a woman were working on a project of some sort. Maybe a art and a huge tidal wave had crushed my house to smitherings. Me and this woman had survived the tidal wave.
The other dream I'm a solider stationed on a island between Cuba and the US. I tried to escape from the island. I'm in the ocean swimming. I eventually get caught, tried and imprisoned. I tried to escape again. This time im running through a crowd that is eating outside.. Maybe an outside resturant. I see a helicopter in the sky. I'm back in to the ocean swimming as hard as I can. At the end I see land. I escaped.
May 1, 2006
Poem I got somewhere
Being Me
I'm a woman, a dreamer, a lover and a little girl; I'm me.
I'm a writer, a poet and a wisher.
Dont you see, that I'm me.
I'm not everything I wish I could be.
I'm a tender heart, a taker, a giver and sometimes a keeper.
I'm me, trying to please everyone, to be everything they want me to be.
I'm the ugly duckling, turning into a swan, my features change all of the time.
I'm me, and I'm always the mysterious one.
I'm the quiet one and the the sensitive one too,the watcher and the seeker of what's true.
I'm all of these things and maybe more, but who lets me just be me?
April 10, 2006 Dream
In a church.. You were trying to tell me that you were better off in the outside world. Maybe it was a convent too? As you were telling me people kept interrupting us. Eventually you tell me everything you had to say. After that I remember walking in a hallway and seeing women uniformly walking pass me in groups. They were all dressed the same and I think they all had black hair. The outfits that they wore look like buddist monks outfits except they were black, purple and I think hot pink. Then in the main area and I was sitting in a pew and you were sitting in front of me. After a time the sermon ends don't remember what was said or anything. You stand up to leave first and then I start to leave but then I said goodbye to a bunch of people and I said Happy Easter to them. Sometime in the dream too somebody nailed two knick knacks on the church wall.
March 21, 2006
First one: Someone had told me I was pregnant. I dont remember who told me. I felt pregnant through the whole dream. I was told that it was Tony's baby. I was in denial about being pregnant and I told people that it was impossible for me to be pregnant because I have not had sex since June of last year. I was put in the hospital. In one scene I remember being on a streacher and a nurse was trying to put a IV in me. In another scene somebody asked me about my schooling. I told them the only thing that was stopping me from going to school was 3200 dollars. I kept telling people the pregnancy must be a mistake and that I must have a tumor or something.
Second Dream:In this dream i was not told who the father was. Nor do I remember anyone telling me I was pregnant. I started to fell nausated. It was seen as labor pains. I'm in a delivery room. I was nausated in the whole dream. I dont rememeber being in serious pain just nausated. I made one push and the baby was born. It was a boy. Im holding him and he is cute and hairy. But it was light hair and he was pinkish looking like a newborn. He didnt cry but he seemed content in my arms. I made a comment that he looked like my dad. After that I decided that I was gonna name him after my dad, except that I wanted to give him a differant middle name and that his last name would be Vogel-Kellison instead of just Vogel. I remember my mom being there too but she was happy After the birth I think I almost threw up.
After these two dream I had two more but I dont have great deal of memory of them. One was that Holly was pregnant with a girl. The child was weird looking though. She had orange curly hair. Holly has straight dark brown hair. The other was another dream about me bring pregnant and I was in pain again. Except this time I didnt give birth and I found out that I was having a girl.
Well Last night Holly called me and told me she was pregnant. All this week I was bothered by this pregancy dreams and I was trying to find a good interpreation of them. The one that I was thinking that I had creativty in me that needs to come out but has not way of doing it and because not being able to express that creativty it is making me sick. Or was it just a prediction that someone in my family was pregnant ???
On and on..
Dream Jan 6, 2007
Last night I had a violent dream. Its the first violent dream i can remember in a while. There was death squads out to kill humans. Yet the death squad themselves could of been humans. Their faces were masked. I think there were monsters that were running around too. I remember constantly trying to hide from these death squads. In differant places always trying to cover windows and light so that they couldnt find me. I think I had a confortation with one of them. I think I had a conversation with someone about how to get rid of them or for them to stop killing people. I think the reason why the death squad didnt kill me was because I was associated with someone. I think the person who told me how to get the to stop killing. At the end I think I said its over that the killing has stopped.
"The fact that modern women are frustrated by being forced to choose between being an Athena-an intellectual asexual career woman, or Aphrodite a frivolous sex object or a respectable wife-mother like Hera shows the Greek Goddesses continue to be archtypes of female existance. If the characteristics of the major goddesees were combined, a whole being with unlimited potential for development a female equavalent of Zeus or Apollo would emerge. -Goddesses,whores wives, and slaves.
Yelling at living things does tend to kill the spirit in them. Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts. - Robert Fulghum
"If you don't trust your own nature, how can you trust your mistrusting of it?" - Lao Tzu
Aug 26, 2006
I have a notebook that has random quotes and i wanted to put them down in case i loose the note book.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting to talk about besides sex.-Edger Wallace
Sex is like a bridge, if you don't have a good partner you better have a good hand.
A day without laughter is a day wasted. -Charlie Chapman
The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in the same order.
Only two things are infinite in the universe are human stupidity and I'm not sure about the former. -Einstein
Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens.- Hendrix
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them. -Samueal Palmer
To solve the human equation, we need to add love subtract hate, multiply good and divide between truth and error. - Janet Coleman
A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking. -Jerry Seinfield
Procrastination is the art of keeping with yesterday. - George Carlin.
The imagination is more important than knowledge- Einstein
The important thing is to never stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. -Einstein
The man who does not read books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -Mark Twain
Laws alone cannot secure freedom of expression in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be a spirit of tolerance in the entire society. - Einstein
Ignorance the root and stem of all evil. -Plato
Envy is the ulcer to the soul.-Socrates
One word frees up of all the weight and pain of that word is love. -Sophacles
Each of us bears his own hell. -Virgil
Natural ability without education has more often attained to glory and virtue than education without natural ability.- Cicero
Did a male or female write this?
The way it is now, women get disrespected throughout our society. When I go to the mall to shop for my daughter's birthday, I see 12 year old girls running around literally dressed like hookers. When I turn on the TV, and this is daytime TV mind you, I see music videos that would make Jezebel blush. You want to talk about what squigs you? Well, this is what squigs me. A whore should be in a bordello, not at the mall sexually provoking men and irritating women, not on television promoted as a role model for our daughters
Carl Jung:
There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.
When I step into this library, I cannot understand why I ever step out of it.
Marie de Sevigne,
Reading well is one of the great pleasures that solitude can afford you.
Harold Bloom (1930 - ), O Magazine, April 2003
A room without books is like a body without a soul.
Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC)
Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.
Sir Richard Steele
Last night I had a violent dream. Its the first violent dream i can remember in a while. There was death squads out to kill humans. Yet the death squad themselves could of been humans. Their faces were masked. I think there were monsters that were running around too. I remember constantly trying to hide from these death squads. In differant places always trying to cover windows and light so that they couldnt find me. I think I had a confortation with one of them. I think I had a conversation with someone about how to get rid of them or for them to stop killing people. I think the reason why the death squad didnt kill me was because I was associated with someone. I think the person who told me how to get the to stop killing. At the end I think I said its over that the killing has stopped.
"The fact that modern women are frustrated by being forced to choose between being an Athena-an intellectual asexual career woman, or Aphrodite a frivolous sex object or a respectable wife-mother like Hera shows the Greek Goddesses continue to be archtypes of female existance. If the characteristics of the major goddesees were combined, a whole being with unlimited potential for development a female equavalent of Zeus or Apollo would emerge. -Goddesses,whores wives, and slaves.
Yelling at living things does tend to kill the spirit in them. Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts. - Robert Fulghum
"If you don't trust your own nature, how can you trust your mistrusting of it?" - Lao Tzu
Aug 26, 2006
I have a notebook that has random quotes and i wanted to put them down in case i loose the note book.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting to talk about besides sex.-Edger Wallace
Sex is like a bridge, if you don't have a good partner you better have a good hand.
A day without laughter is a day wasted. -Charlie Chapman
The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in the same order.
Only two things are infinite in the universe are human stupidity and I'm not sure about the former. -Einstein
Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens.- Hendrix
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them. -Samueal Palmer
To solve the human equation, we need to add love subtract hate, multiply good and divide between truth and error. - Janet Coleman
A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking. -Jerry Seinfield
Procrastination is the art of keeping with yesterday. - George Carlin.
The imagination is more important than knowledge- Einstein
The important thing is to never stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. -Einstein
The man who does not read books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -Mark Twain
Laws alone cannot secure freedom of expression in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be a spirit of tolerance in the entire society. - Einstein
Ignorance the root and stem of all evil. -Plato
Envy is the ulcer to the soul.-Socrates
One word frees up of all the weight and pain of that word is love. -Sophacles
Each of us bears his own hell. -Virgil
Natural ability without education has more often attained to glory and virtue than education without natural ability.- Cicero
Did a male or female write this?
The way it is now, women get disrespected throughout our society. When I go to the mall to shop for my daughter's birthday, I see 12 year old girls running around literally dressed like hookers. When I turn on the TV, and this is daytime TV mind you, I see music videos that would make Jezebel blush. You want to talk about what squigs you? Well, this is what squigs me. A whore should be in a bordello, not at the mall sexually provoking men and irritating women, not on television promoted as a role model for our daughters
Carl Jung:
There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.
When I step into this library, I cannot understand why I ever step out of it.
Marie de Sevigne,
Reading well is one of the great pleasures that solitude can afford you.
Harold Bloom (1930 - ), O Magazine, April 2003
A room without books is like a body without a soul.
Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC)
Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.
Sir Richard Steele
June 9, 2007
This morning I heard the phone ring 3 times close together. I get up to see who it was and it was my mom hysterical. She said to go online and to go on the news station. There was a shooting at Nicole's house. Nicole was my sister Holly's best friend. They had been best friends since the 3rd grade. Nicole and her twin sons and her daughter were living with her sister Ashley and her husband Gaspar. The article has the age of the boys messed up. The boys were 6 months old. Holly had her son in November and Nicole had the twins in December.
The person who did this senseless act was Nicole's ex boyfriend. After he shot everyone, he killed himself.
I talked to my mom and she talked to Nicole's mom and jasmine is improving. I feel horrible for Jasmine. She will never know her mom. I was told that this Vanessa person was a friend of Ashley's she had kids and now she is gone.
I cant remotely express my grief.. No explanation is acceptable to my mind. This should of never happened.
We just saw Nicole and Ashley in April. April 22md to be exact. We all went to the zoo for family free day. Ashley, Nicole and Jasmine came. I never actually got to meet the boys. I remember the last time my mom came to visit she said that she needed a bigger car. That we should get a bus, so we can fit all the kids including Nicole's.
Best friends are just an extension of the family. Last night my family lost 4 members of our family.
I'm still waiting to her about funeral arrangements. As soon as I find out. I'll probobly be leaving town and going to the funeral.
DELAVAN - Six people were shot to death and a 2-year-old girl was wounded on a quiet street in a small Walworth County community.
Police were called to the area late Saturday night when neighbors reported hearing shots being fired. Investigating officers found the 2-year-old girl in a white mini-van with a gun shot wound to the chest. She was taken first to Lakeland Hospital, then transferred to Rockford Memorial Hospital in Illinois and then flown to UW Hospital in Madison. She was first reported to be in very critical condition, but has been upgraded to serious condition.
Walworth County SWAT Officers entered the home next to the van at 309 S. 2nd Street and found six people who had been shot to death.
Police Chief Timothy O'Neill said he will not release the names, ages and genders of the victims. He said the dead include four adults and two children. They are not all related. They were all found in an apartment on the second floor of the home.
A gun was recovered inside the apartment.
Vanessa Iverson, 19, was one of the victims. She was visiting fields in the apartment according to her family. Iverson was the mother of two young children and lived with her mother in Delavan.
Iverson was not married. Her family is not sure who will get custody of her children, a little boy and a little girl. Her children were not with her at the apartment.
The others in house at the time of the shooting were a friend of Iverson and the friend's husband, sister and brother-in-law, along with three children, including the 2-year-old and a set of twins, said Vanessa's sister-in-law, Sarah Iverson.
Marco Pastrana, 21, said his cousin, Ambrocio Analco, 22, was one of the dead. He said Analco went to the house where the shooting occurred to drop off Analco's twin boys, who were either 2 or 3 months old, and 2-year-old daughter, Jasmine.
"It came to my mind that this was not true," Pastrana said. "But when I came here I went to talk to the cops and they tell me that he was dead, his kids were dead and one was in the hospital."
Their mother lived at the house, Pastrana said, adding that he did not know the twins' names or their mother's last name.
"I'm sad and mad at the same time because I don't know what happened," Pastrana said. The area around the home has been blocked off and a police command post has been set up.
The Walworth Sheriff's Department was called to the scene to assist with the investigation.
Authorities started removing the bodies from the home just after 8:30 a.m.
Police are talking to family members and learning more about the situation at the household.
Chief O'Neill told a noon time press briefing that the investigation had been turned over to the state Division of Criminal Investigation. He also said that long time County Coroner John Griebel would be notifying families and releasing the names of the dead. O'Neill said the shooter maybe among the dead, but he's not 100 percent sure of that yet.
Police cordoned off a two-block area around the crime scene as neighbors gathered on the sidewalks to watch the investigation.
One of the spectators was next-door neighbor Jesus Valadez, 27, who said he was outside in spite of police telling him to stay indoors and keep his doors locked.
"It's kind of scary," Valadez said. "Exciting, don't get me wrong. Better than watching TV."
James Brandenburg, 57, of Delavan dropped to his knees as police wheeled out bodies at mid-morning and threw his arms to the sky. He had spent several minutes earlier, also on his knees, praying.
"It's tragic. It's getting worse all the time," he said. "If we want to, we can put a stop to this."
Pete Brancheau, 59, who lives across the street from the shooting scene, said it is a rental property where people often move in and out. He heard six shots Saturday night but thought nothing of it because children in the neighborhood play with firecrackers "all the time," he said.
About a minute later, he heard a series of about three shots, he said. He looked outside a few minutes later and saw police cordoning off the area.
It's scary," he said. "Especially when there's a baby involved. There's no answer for it."
Delavan is a bucolic community of 8,000 people about 40 miles southwest of Milwaukee. The white house where the shootings took place is on a tree-lined street that is a block from a United Methodist Church. Churchgoers stopped and watched the scene briefly as they were on their way to Sunday morning services.
The city two-block downtown area has brick-covered streets. The P.T. Barnum Circus, "The Greatest Show on Earth," was founded in Delavan in 1871.
The person who did this senseless act was Nicole's ex boyfriend. After he shot everyone, he killed himself.
I talked to my mom and she talked to Nicole's mom and jasmine is improving. I feel horrible for Jasmine. She will never know her mom. I was told that this Vanessa person was a friend of Ashley's she had kids and now she is gone.
I cant remotely express my grief.. No explanation is acceptable to my mind. This should of never happened.
We just saw Nicole and Ashley in April. April 22md to be exact. We all went to the zoo for family free day. Ashley, Nicole and Jasmine came. I never actually got to meet the boys. I remember the last time my mom came to visit she said that she needed a bigger car. That we should get a bus, so we can fit all the kids including Nicole's.
Best friends are just an extension of the family. Last night my family lost 4 members of our family.
I'm still waiting to her about funeral arrangements. As soon as I find out. I'll probobly be leaving town and going to the funeral.
DELAVAN - Six people were shot to death and a 2-year-old girl was wounded on a quiet street in a small Walworth County community.
Police were called to the area late Saturday night when neighbors reported hearing shots being fired. Investigating officers found the 2-year-old girl in a white mini-van with a gun shot wound to the chest. She was taken first to Lakeland Hospital, then transferred to Rockford Memorial Hospital in Illinois and then flown to UW Hospital in Madison. She was first reported to be in very critical condition, but has been upgraded to serious condition.
Walworth County SWAT Officers entered the home next to the van at 309 S. 2nd Street and found six people who had been shot to death.
Police Chief Timothy O'Neill said he will not release the names, ages and genders of the victims. He said the dead include four adults and two children. They are not all related. They were all found in an apartment on the second floor of the home.
A gun was recovered inside the apartment.
Vanessa Iverson, 19, was one of the victims. She was visiting fields in the apartment according to her family. Iverson was the mother of two young children and lived with her mother in Delavan.
Iverson was not married. Her family is not sure who will get custody of her children, a little boy and a little girl. Her children were not with her at the apartment.
The others in house at the time of the shooting were a friend of Iverson and the friend's husband, sister and brother-in-law, along with three children, including the 2-year-old and a set of twins, said Vanessa's sister-in-law, Sarah Iverson.
Marco Pastrana, 21, said his cousin, Ambrocio Analco, 22, was one of the dead. He said Analco went to the house where the shooting occurred to drop off Analco's twin boys, who were either 2 or 3 months old, and 2-year-old daughter, Jasmine.
"It came to my mind that this was not true," Pastrana said. "But when I came here I went to talk to the cops and they tell me that he was dead, his kids were dead and one was in the hospital."
Their mother lived at the house, Pastrana said, adding that he did not know the twins' names or their mother's last name.
"I'm sad and mad at the same time because I don't know what happened," Pastrana said. The area around the home has been blocked off and a police command post has been set up.
The Walworth Sheriff's Department was called to the scene to assist with the investigation.
Authorities started removing the bodies from the home just after 8:30 a.m.
Police are talking to family members and learning more about the situation at the household.
Chief O'Neill told a noon time press briefing that the investigation had been turned over to the state Division of Criminal Investigation. He also said that long time County Coroner John Griebel would be notifying families and releasing the names of the dead. O'Neill said the shooter maybe among the dead, but he's not 100 percent sure of that yet.
Police cordoned off a two-block area around the crime scene as neighbors gathered on the sidewalks to watch the investigation.
One of the spectators was next-door neighbor Jesus Valadez, 27, who said he was outside in spite of police telling him to stay indoors and keep his doors locked.
"It's kind of scary," Valadez said. "Exciting, don't get me wrong. Better than watching TV."
James Brandenburg, 57, of Delavan dropped to his knees as police wheeled out bodies at mid-morning and threw his arms to the sky. He had spent several minutes earlier, also on his knees, praying.
"It's tragic. It's getting worse all the time," he said. "If we want to, we can put a stop to this."
Pete Brancheau, 59, who lives across the street from the shooting scene, said it is a rental property where people often move in and out. He heard six shots Saturday night but thought nothing of it because children in the neighborhood play with firecrackers "all the time," he said.
About a minute later, he heard a series of about three shots, he said. He looked outside a few minutes later and saw police cordoning off the area.
It's scary," he said. "Especially when there's a baby involved. There's no answer for it."
Delavan is a bucolic community of 8,000 people about 40 miles southwest of Milwaukee. The white house where the shootings took place is on a tree-lined street that is a block from a United Methodist Church. Churchgoers stopped and watched the scene briefly as they were on their way to Sunday morning services.
The city two-block downtown area has brick-covered streets. The P.T. Barnum Circus, "The Greatest Show on Earth," was founded in Delavan in 1871.
Article 2008
Jan 1, 2008
ELKHORN — Seventeen months before Ambrosio Analco murdered his ex-girlfriend, killed four others and then shot himself, the ex-girlfriend complained to Elkhorn police that Analco had strangled her with electrical cords.
He was never arrested or charged.
Nicole M. McAffee wrote in a domestic abuse victim worksheet in January 2006 that Analco had abused her "around 50-60 times," including strangling her with electrical cords and pushing, kicking, punching, slapping, shoving, banging her head, pulling her hair and attempting to strangle or suffocate her.
"He has taken electric cords and has wrapped it around my neck and has strangled me to the point where I was gasping for air," McAffee wrote.
Despite McAffee's domestic abuse complaint to police, Analco never was arrested.
Police and prosecutors blame a breakdown in communication between their offices.
On June 9, Analco killed McAffee inside their Delavan apartment. He also killed their infant twin sons, McAffee's sister and their friend before he took his own life. He also shot his 20-month-old daughter in the chest during the rampage.
The baby survived.
Background
On Jan. 27, 2006, an Elkhorn police officer took a domestic violence report from McAffee at the apartment she shared with Analco, 29 West St., No. 4. McAffee told the officer she was afraid to leave Analco.
"Honestly, I'm scared to death of him," McAffee said, according to the officer's report. "… I want him to be in his daughter's life, but I don't want to have to get killed for it."
On the day McAffee made the report, Analco had pushed her and started choking her because she told him she was going to leave.
Their baby, Jasmine, who survived the June 9 shooting, started crying during the abuse, and Analco went to check on her, according to the police report.
"Nicole stated she is afraid of what would have happened if the baby did not start crying to divert his attention," the report reads.
"He's also told me that if I called the cops he would kill me," McAffee told the reporting officer. "And he told me he would kill my family. He's threatened to kill my family to get to his daughter."
Breakdown
After McAffee's report, police sent a prosecution request to the Walworth County District Attorney's office, seeking charges of false imprisonment, a felony, and disorderly conduct and battery, both misdemeanors.
Assistant District Attorney Diane Donohoo wrote a letter back to police asking for verification of Analco's identity through his fingerprints. Analco has several aliases, including Gilberto Garza and Argenis Analco.
"It is of vital importance that the proper name for the defendant be listed on the warrant," Donohoo wrote in a letter to Elkhorn police. "We cannot ask the court to issue a warrant for a person until we have ascertained his identity."
Police sent a request for the analysis of Analco's fingerprints. The results from the state crime lab came back to Analco and Garza—apparently, the same man using two names.
But the investigation stopped there.
"It appears we didn't communicate (the results)," Elkhorn Police Chief Joel Christensen said. "As we saw in the report, there was no addition as far as (further) personal communication with the DA's office."
The district attorney's office never asked Elkhorn police if the results were returned, District Attorney Phil Koss said.
"I saw from the file that it was tickled to see if that information came in, and it didn't," he said "I can't tell that we ever contacted the Elkhorn Police Department (again)."
Koss said his office relied on the police department to submit the information when it was available.
"All I can say is that we have 2,000 some cases and they usually are very good when they get a crime lab report. They know it has to come to us," he said.
The office closed the report after it hadn't heard back from either Elkhorn police or McAffee, who was sent a letter to contact the district attorney's office about the pending charges.
The Elkhorn Police Department never heard back from McAffee either, Christensen said.
Bewilderment
Officers last spoke to McAffee on Jan. 28, 2006, a day after the reported abuse.
On Jan. 31, 2006, McAffee's mother, Christina M. Johnson, told police she had not seen her daughter since the day before. She suspected she might be with Analco.
The night of Jan. 30, Johnson drove by the apartment and saw several people moving items out. They did not know where McAffee was.
An officer, Johnson and an apartment manager went inside and found all of Analco's things gone and McAffee's things ready to be moved, according to the police report.
On Feb. 1, 2006, Johnson told police McAffee had called her sister and said she was OK and wanted to come home. She did not say where she was.
There was no further contact with any of the family members indicated in the police report.
Breakup
McAffee's attempt to leave Analco apparently was short-lived. The 72-hour no-contact order she signed when she made the complaint expired, and she never applied for a permanent restraining order.
McAffee and Analco later had twin boys, who were 6 months old when they were killed. That means they were conceived after McAffee made the police report.
"I think Nicole still wanted their children to have a part of their dad in their lives. That's who she was," McAffee's aunt Karen 'Dee Dee' Sittler said in an interview after the murders. "But I also believe in my heart that if she didn't (allow that) that he would do something."
Family of Analco say the two hadn't been seeing each other at the time of the shootings, but Analco had occasional custody of the children.
It was reported he was returning the children to McAffee the night of the murders.
Speculation
Christensen said police and prosecutors didn't know in January 2006 that Analco would go on a shooting spree more than a year later.
"It would be unwise to speculate other than from the history of domestic violence itself," Christensen said. "You never know which is going to result in a tragedy like the one that took place over in Delavan."
Even if Analco had been arrested, he might not have been charged, Koss said.
McAffee never again came forward to police, and she apparently ended up back with Analco. Victims' feelings are considered when making charging decisions, and it will never be known what McAffee would have wanted if Analco had been arrested, Koss said.
"Knowing what I know now, I would have recommended the maximum (sentence) because he turned out to be a murderer," Koss said. "But I assume this would (have been) a probation with county jail case. Sentencing really depends on victim input, too. They did get back together, I know that."
It's too late for blame, Christensen and Koss said.
"I think Elkhorn does a fine job. It's sad to see it happen in one of these cases," Koss said. "It's an officer or department nightmare that something like this happens, but we see people who get out on signature bonds who go out and re-offend.
"That's always a concern with a department—that the unknown will happen or the worst-case scenario will happen," Koss said.
"In this case, it did."
ELKHORN — Seventeen months before Ambrosio Analco murdered his ex-girlfriend, killed four others and then shot himself, the ex-girlfriend complained to Elkhorn police that Analco had strangled her with electrical cords.
He was never arrested or charged.
Nicole M. McAffee wrote in a domestic abuse victim worksheet in January 2006 that Analco had abused her "around 50-60 times," including strangling her with electrical cords and pushing, kicking, punching, slapping, shoving, banging her head, pulling her hair and attempting to strangle or suffocate her.
"He has taken electric cords and has wrapped it around my neck and has strangled me to the point where I was gasping for air," McAffee wrote.
Despite McAffee's domestic abuse complaint to police, Analco never was arrested.
Police and prosecutors blame a breakdown in communication between their offices.
On June 9, Analco killed McAffee inside their Delavan apartment. He also killed their infant twin sons, McAffee's sister and their friend before he took his own life. He also shot his 20-month-old daughter in the chest during the rampage.
The baby survived.
Background
On Jan. 27, 2006, an Elkhorn police officer took a domestic violence report from McAffee at the apartment she shared with Analco, 29 West St., No. 4. McAffee told the officer she was afraid to leave Analco.
"Honestly, I'm scared to death of him," McAffee said, according to the officer's report. "… I want him to be in his daughter's life, but I don't want to have to get killed for it."
On the day McAffee made the report, Analco had pushed her and started choking her because she told him she was going to leave.
Their baby, Jasmine, who survived the June 9 shooting, started crying during the abuse, and Analco went to check on her, according to the police report.
"Nicole stated she is afraid of what would have happened if the baby did not start crying to divert his attention," the report reads.
"He's also told me that if I called the cops he would kill me," McAffee told the reporting officer. "And he told me he would kill my family. He's threatened to kill my family to get to his daughter."
Breakdown
After McAffee's report, police sent a prosecution request to the Walworth County District Attorney's office, seeking charges of false imprisonment, a felony, and disorderly conduct and battery, both misdemeanors.
Assistant District Attorney Diane Donohoo wrote a letter back to police asking for verification of Analco's identity through his fingerprints. Analco has several aliases, including Gilberto Garza and Argenis Analco.
"It is of vital importance that the proper name for the defendant be listed on the warrant," Donohoo wrote in a letter to Elkhorn police. "We cannot ask the court to issue a warrant for a person until we have ascertained his identity."
Police sent a request for the analysis of Analco's fingerprints. The results from the state crime lab came back to Analco and Garza—apparently, the same man using two names.
But the investigation stopped there.
"It appears we didn't communicate (the results)," Elkhorn Police Chief Joel Christensen said. "As we saw in the report, there was no addition as far as (further) personal communication with the DA's office."
The district attorney's office never asked Elkhorn police if the results were returned, District Attorney Phil Koss said.
"I saw from the file that it was tickled to see if that information came in, and it didn't," he said "I can't tell that we ever contacted the Elkhorn Police Department (again)."
Koss said his office relied on the police department to submit the information when it was available.
"All I can say is that we have 2,000 some cases and they usually are very good when they get a crime lab report. They know it has to come to us," he said.
The office closed the report after it hadn't heard back from either Elkhorn police or McAffee, who was sent a letter to contact the district attorney's office about the pending charges.
The Elkhorn Police Department never heard back from McAffee either, Christensen said.
Bewilderment
Officers last spoke to McAffee on Jan. 28, 2006, a day after the reported abuse.
On Jan. 31, 2006, McAffee's mother, Christina M. Johnson, told police she had not seen her daughter since the day before. She suspected she might be with Analco.
The night of Jan. 30, Johnson drove by the apartment and saw several people moving items out. They did not know where McAffee was.
An officer, Johnson and an apartment manager went inside and found all of Analco's things gone and McAffee's things ready to be moved, according to the police report.
On Feb. 1, 2006, Johnson told police McAffee had called her sister and said she was OK and wanted to come home. She did not say where she was.
There was no further contact with any of the family members indicated in the police report.
Breakup
McAffee's attempt to leave Analco apparently was short-lived. The 72-hour no-contact order she signed when she made the complaint expired, and she never applied for a permanent restraining order.
McAffee and Analco later had twin boys, who were 6 months old when they were killed. That means they were conceived after McAffee made the police report.
"I think Nicole still wanted their children to have a part of their dad in their lives. That's who she was," McAffee's aunt Karen 'Dee Dee' Sittler said in an interview after the murders. "But I also believe in my heart that if she didn't (allow that) that he would do something."
Family of Analco say the two hadn't been seeing each other at the time of the shootings, but Analco had occasional custody of the children.
It was reported he was returning the children to McAffee the night of the murders.
Speculation
Christensen said police and prosecutors didn't know in January 2006 that Analco would go on a shooting spree more than a year later.
"It would be unwise to speculate other than from the history of domestic violence itself," Christensen said. "You never know which is going to result in a tragedy like the one that took place over in Delavan."
Even if Analco had been arrested, he might not have been charged, Koss said.
McAffee never again came forward to police, and she apparently ended up back with Analco. Victims' feelings are considered when making charging decisions, and it will never be known what McAffee would have wanted if Analco had been arrested, Koss said.
"Knowing what I know now, I would have recommended the maximum (sentence) because he turned out to be a murderer," Koss said. "But I assume this would (have been) a probation with county jail case. Sentencing really depends on victim input, too. They did get back together, I know that."
It's too late for blame, Christensen and Koss said.
"I think Elkhorn does a fine job. It's sad to see it happen in one of these cases," Koss said. "It's an officer or department nightmare that something like this happens, but we see people who get out on signature bonds who go out and re-offend.
"That's always a concern with a department—that the unknown will happen or the worst-case scenario will happen," Koss said.
"In this case, it did."
More thoughts
June 15, 2008
About 3 this morning I watch a show on PBS on an Albino Gorilla name snow flake. Very cute Gorilla. It amazed me on 40 years we went from not knowing much about gorillas to knowing so much about them. Thanks to some people who went into the jungles and live with them. Can you imagine living in a jungle to study them? Poor snow flake died of skin cancer in 2003.
After than I watched a documentary on Sir Issac Newton Interesting.. From watching the show I started to think about how many smart people are very introverted and sensitive people. He went into hiding because of one person criticizes about research that he publish. The show mostly talked about his interest in alchemy which is a precursor to modern chemistry. He thought myths from Greece were recipes to alchemy.
Most of all he really just like researching. I can relate to that. I wanted to go into the research sector in archeology. I don't have much interested in teaching and neither did Newton. I love science even though I didn't make the best grades. His love for math though I cant relate to because I don't like math much. Even though math and science go together. When I was learning Algebra I wanted to smack the shit out the person who invented Algebra. I'm sure there are some calculus students who feel that way about Newton. The father of Calculus.
June 12, 2008
DELAVAN — A year ago today, the plain white house on a tree-lined street was a grisly crime scene bordered by yellow police tape.
Six were dead inside the upstairs apartment at 309 S. Second St.
The 911 call came in at 10:36 p.m.
“I was inside of my house, and my sister-in-law, her boyfriend, came in and started shooting everybody,” the lone witness told the dispatcher.
“Could you please hurry up please?” he pleaded.
Ambrosio Analco, 23, killed himself after he shot and killed his estranged girlfriend Nicole McAffee, 19; their infant twin sons, Argenis and Isaiah Analco; Nicole’s sister Ashley Lynn Huerta, 21; and Nicole and Ashley’s friend Vanessa Iverson, 19.
Sgt. Todd Wiese of the Delavan Police Department will never forget.
“There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t drive up that street and look at that house and think about what happened,” he said.
A golden thread
Police stormed the house with weapons drawn, but in the driveway Deputy Kirk Dodge of the Walworth County SWAT Team noticed a baby inside a minivan. He took the girl from her car seat and ran her a half-block down the street, where Wiese was waiting.
The little girl looked up at him with brown eyes but didn’t make a sound—“not even a whimper,” he said.
A streetlight shone a glow just bright enough that Wiese could see blood covering the little girl’s pajamas.
“And then it became real,” said the father of two young children. “It’s tough. You prepare for it all the time, but you’re never expecting it.”
Wiese carried the girl to his squad car parked at the corner of Second and Matthew streets. He laid her on the trunk and used a knife to cut off her shirt, revealing a bullet hole in her chest.
Still the little girl didn’t cry.
“There wasn’t any other indication she was in pain other than the obvious wound to her chest,” Wiese told The Janesville Gazette days after the incident.
Not knowing if the shooter still was in the area, Wiese drove his squad car east down Matthew Street as Deputy P.J. Austin of the SWAT team walked quickly behind, holding the girl so she wouldn’t fall off the trunk of the car.
They met an ambulance waiting a block away, and the girl was rushed to a hospital.
The little girl—Jasmine Analco, now almost 3 years old—is the unbreakable “golden thread” of hope that led the community out of a terrifying tragedy.
“There’s been a lot of healing,” said Delavan Police Chief Tim O’Neill in a recent interview.
Horror and dismay
When the SWAT team emerged from the house, they stood in shock, staring into space, biting their lips and fighting back tears, Walworth County Sheriff David Graves told the Gazette days after the incident.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen that kind of look on their faces,” he said. “The horror and the dismay I saw on their faces that night was incredible.”
When Graves learned six bodies were inside, including two infant twin boys who “looked like dolls in that chair,” he called in the sheriff’s department psychologist, who gave officers a chance to talk about the incident.
“It makes the team stronger,” Graves said. “It’s tough, especially seeing something like this … but I think it brings them closer together.”
The officers were warned not to get too close to the family, O’Neill said.
But for those who arrived first at the scene and encountered the little girl shot in the chest, it wasn’t easy.
“It’s difficult because you do have a connection there,” Wiese said in a recent interview. “It’s not easy, but you kind of take it with everything else that comes.”
But it’s a connection he’ll never lose, he said.
“She obviously lost some family that evening, but I think she gained a lot of family in return,” Wiese told the Gazette days after the incident. “She has a lot more family (now) than she initially did. (She has lots of uncles on the department who are going to adopt her, for lack of a better term.”
Jasmine was adopted by family members, said Nicole’s aunt Karen “Dee Dee” Sittler of Elkhorn.
Wiese said when he last saw Jasmine she was laughing, talking and playing like most almost-3-year-old girls.
“She’s doing fine,” Sittler said.
“It’s been really a difficult, difficult, difficult year. We’re just trying to make our life somewhat normal again.”
About 3 this morning I watch a show on PBS on an Albino Gorilla name snow flake. Very cute Gorilla. It amazed me on 40 years we went from not knowing much about gorillas to knowing so much about them. Thanks to some people who went into the jungles and live with them. Can you imagine living in a jungle to study them? Poor snow flake died of skin cancer in 2003.
After than I watched a documentary on Sir Issac Newton Interesting.. From watching the show I started to think about how many smart people are very introverted and sensitive people. He went into hiding because of one person criticizes about research that he publish. The show mostly talked about his interest in alchemy which is a precursor to modern chemistry. He thought myths from Greece were recipes to alchemy.
Most of all he really just like researching. I can relate to that. I wanted to go into the research sector in archeology. I don't have much interested in teaching and neither did Newton. I love science even though I didn't make the best grades. His love for math though I cant relate to because I don't like math much. Even though math and science go together. When I was learning Algebra I wanted to smack the shit out the person who invented Algebra. I'm sure there are some calculus students who feel that way about Newton. The father of Calculus.
June 12, 2008
DELAVAN — A year ago today, the plain white house on a tree-lined street was a grisly crime scene bordered by yellow police tape.
Six were dead inside the upstairs apartment at 309 S. Second St.
The 911 call came in at 10:36 p.m.
“I was inside of my house, and my sister-in-law, her boyfriend, came in and started shooting everybody,” the lone witness told the dispatcher.
“Could you please hurry up please?” he pleaded.
Ambrosio Analco, 23, killed himself after he shot and killed his estranged girlfriend Nicole McAffee, 19; their infant twin sons, Argenis and Isaiah Analco; Nicole’s sister Ashley Lynn Huerta, 21; and Nicole and Ashley’s friend Vanessa Iverson, 19.
Sgt. Todd Wiese of the Delavan Police Department will never forget.
“There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t drive up that street and look at that house and think about what happened,” he said.
A golden thread
Police stormed the house with weapons drawn, but in the driveway Deputy Kirk Dodge of the Walworth County SWAT Team noticed a baby inside a minivan. He took the girl from her car seat and ran her a half-block down the street, where Wiese was waiting.
The little girl looked up at him with brown eyes but didn’t make a sound—“not even a whimper,” he said.
A streetlight shone a glow just bright enough that Wiese could see blood covering the little girl’s pajamas.
“And then it became real,” said the father of two young children. “It’s tough. You prepare for it all the time, but you’re never expecting it.”
Wiese carried the girl to his squad car parked at the corner of Second and Matthew streets. He laid her on the trunk and used a knife to cut off her shirt, revealing a bullet hole in her chest.
Still the little girl didn’t cry.
“There wasn’t any other indication she was in pain other than the obvious wound to her chest,” Wiese told The Janesville Gazette days after the incident.
Not knowing if the shooter still was in the area, Wiese drove his squad car east down Matthew Street as Deputy P.J. Austin of the SWAT team walked quickly behind, holding the girl so she wouldn’t fall off the trunk of the car.
They met an ambulance waiting a block away, and the girl was rushed to a hospital.
The little girl—Jasmine Analco, now almost 3 years old—is the unbreakable “golden thread” of hope that led the community out of a terrifying tragedy.
“There’s been a lot of healing,” said Delavan Police Chief Tim O’Neill in a recent interview.
Horror and dismay
When the SWAT team emerged from the house, they stood in shock, staring into space, biting their lips and fighting back tears, Walworth County Sheriff David Graves told the Gazette days after the incident.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen that kind of look on their faces,” he said. “The horror and the dismay I saw on their faces that night was incredible.”
When Graves learned six bodies were inside, including two infant twin boys who “looked like dolls in that chair,” he called in the sheriff’s department psychologist, who gave officers a chance to talk about the incident.
“It makes the team stronger,” Graves said. “It’s tough, especially seeing something like this … but I think it brings them closer together.”
The officers were warned not to get too close to the family, O’Neill said.
But for those who arrived first at the scene and encountered the little girl shot in the chest, it wasn’t easy.
“It’s difficult because you do have a connection there,” Wiese said in a recent interview. “It’s not easy, but you kind of take it with everything else that comes.”
But it’s a connection he’ll never lose, he said.
“She obviously lost some family that evening, but I think she gained a lot of family in return,” Wiese told the Gazette days after the incident. “She has a lot more family (now) than she initially did. (She has lots of uncles on the department who are going to adopt her, for lack of a better term.”
Jasmine was adopted by family members, said Nicole’s aunt Karen “Dee Dee” Sittler of Elkhorn.
Wiese said when he last saw Jasmine she was laughing, talking and playing like most almost-3-year-old girls.
“She’s doing fine,” Sittler said.
“It’s been really a difficult, difficult, difficult year. We’re just trying to make our life somewhat normal again.”
Further in time
Feb 5, 2009
Today I did something what I thought was brave today. I bought a bathing suit. At the end of the month my mom is planning to take us all to an indoor water park and i thought ooh lets get a bathing suit. You have to understand I haven't worn a bathing suit since the 7th grade. I was getting out of my aunt's van after swimming and my mom grabbed my fat and says I'm getting a jelly roll. I never worn one since then. Today I decided to get one. Its baby blue. I tried it on and it wasn't bad but I felt like I was suffocating at first. I even took a picture and it didn't make me feel bad. I have a gut and I always will.
The more tv i watch the more I realize that we are spoon fed propaganda of two things. To lose weight and to get married. To me that says two things be unhappy with your body image and while your at it lose your identity by legally binding yourself to a piece of shit who would more in likely treat you like shit. All the while we line the pockets of diet gurus, diet companies. dress makers, florists, bakers, jewelers and wedding planners. In the end we are unhappy thin and in debt. No love or confidence for ourselves. Oh if you are stick thin that's when we are suppose to be confident and happy. Like in the crappy commercials. Not to love ourselves in our normal shell.
Oct 21, 2008
Quote: I dont believe in fairytales. I don't live in La La land. I don't believe in prince charming. Men are just frogs.
July 2, 2008
I found this writing on a scrap piece of paper. I'm not sure if i wrote it myself or if it was something i read and wrote it down. I think that was more in likely something i read and wrote down.
Aside?
Why can't I cast it away
as it has been so easily by it intended
For I know its neither welcome or wanted
Somehow in knowing this it does not make
my love any less a reality to me.
Thus I shall allow this eternal flame to burn
inside of me.
Upon awakening in the morning light
I can feel emptiness surround me.
I who profess an undying love have nothing in return
but my loneliness.
Somehow I convinced myself of being loved by the one I profess my to so freely.
My reality is lying alone
where the only warmth I feel is that my passion for this unforsaken love.
As I dream I fantasize of a love
I decided to be yet shall not be
I have grown to known that being in love is the loneliest experience
One can ever know its recipient does know nourish that love
I know in this entire why Can't I just lay this feeling.
Today I did something what I thought was brave today. I bought a bathing suit. At the end of the month my mom is planning to take us all to an indoor water park and i thought ooh lets get a bathing suit. You have to understand I haven't worn a bathing suit since the 7th grade. I was getting out of my aunt's van after swimming and my mom grabbed my fat and says I'm getting a jelly roll. I never worn one since then. Today I decided to get one. Its baby blue. I tried it on and it wasn't bad but I felt like I was suffocating at first. I even took a picture and it didn't make me feel bad. I have a gut and I always will.
The more tv i watch the more I realize that we are spoon fed propaganda of two things. To lose weight and to get married. To me that says two things be unhappy with your body image and while your at it lose your identity by legally binding yourself to a piece of shit who would more in likely treat you like shit. All the while we line the pockets of diet gurus, diet companies. dress makers, florists, bakers, jewelers and wedding planners. In the end we are unhappy thin and in debt. No love or confidence for ourselves. Oh if you are stick thin that's when we are suppose to be confident and happy. Like in the crappy commercials. Not to love ourselves in our normal shell.
Oct 21, 2008
Quote: I dont believe in fairytales. I don't live in La La land. I don't believe in prince charming. Men are just frogs.
July 2, 2008
I found this writing on a scrap piece of paper. I'm not sure if i wrote it myself or if it was something i read and wrote it down. I think that was more in likely something i read and wrote down.
Aside?
Why can't I cast it away
as it has been so easily by it intended
For I know its neither welcome or wanted
Somehow in knowing this it does not make
my love any less a reality to me.
Thus I shall allow this eternal flame to burn
inside of me.
Upon awakening in the morning light
I can feel emptiness surround me.
I who profess an undying love have nothing in return
but my loneliness.
Somehow I convinced myself of being loved by the one I profess my to so freely.
My reality is lying alone
where the only warmth I feel is that my passion for this unforsaken love.
As I dream I fantasize of a love
I decided to be yet shall not be
I have grown to known that being in love is the loneliest experience
One can ever know its recipient does know nourish that love
I know in this entire why Can't I just lay this feeling.
More Random Posts
Oct 28, 2010
I coined in a new term in my head. It's called Ozzy & Harriet Land.
Ozzy & Harriet Land: A land were there is a married couple, two kids and a dog. With a house and a pool with picket white fences. To everyone in Ozzy & Harriet Land, everything is dandy and sunny, when reality it is really superficial and sugar coated. Some reason everyone else not in Ozzy & Harriet Land is suppose to conform their morals and values even though you might not value or agree with it. And then there is the rest of America.
Oct 10, 2010
I went to the lake front today. I loved how the ducks conjured on the lake together like their own little community. I hate my camera it died before I got to take an pics that I wanted. I want a new one. Its apperent that the camera is eating up my batteries. I've had this camera for 4 years. It has taken some good pictures for me.
There were a lot of runners and dog walkers. There was a cute and I also saw a fugly dog. It was a mix of a pug and something that has pointing ears. Weird dog.
This was disturbing, there were a lot of people walking around holding hands. I was starting to wonder if I ended up in a luvy dubby nightmare, where everyone was in love with someone except me. I guess they didn't get the memo that Romance is for books & movies only. It almost seemed like a delusion.
Dream April 19, 2009
I was with a group of people. We were investigating a place. A member of the group found a hidden compartment. I go there and I see on the side is another compartment with had a pile of dolls. Hundreds of them. I wanted to investigate that compartment further but a team member told me to keep moving. We discover another room. This time we were completely in the dark. The room had an illumination to it. Like a disco ball. Even the floors glowed. I saw glass mirrors on the walls. Other team members were being loud. The team leader told them to shut up that they were doing an EVP session. We were hearing noises. Before I know it I'm sky diving. I dont know if the floor fell through or not. I see sky, clouds and eventually vines. I'm in a cave like area. Water is in the middle of it. Kind of deep. Looking around. Somebody makes a wrong move. They lifted something up. It must of been a boobey trap. The water becomes like a rapid and I yell out I don't know how to swim. I grabbed the side of a rock and the dream ends.
I coined in a new term in my head. It's called Ozzy & Harriet Land.
Ozzy & Harriet Land: A land were there is a married couple, two kids and a dog. With a house and a pool with picket white fences. To everyone in Ozzy & Harriet Land, everything is dandy and sunny, when reality it is really superficial and sugar coated. Some reason everyone else not in Ozzy & Harriet Land is suppose to conform their morals and values even though you might not value or agree with it. And then there is the rest of America.
Oct 10, 2010
I went to the lake front today. I loved how the ducks conjured on the lake together like their own little community. I hate my camera it died before I got to take an pics that I wanted. I want a new one. Its apperent that the camera is eating up my batteries. I've had this camera for 4 years. It has taken some good pictures for me.
There were a lot of runners and dog walkers. There was a cute and I also saw a fugly dog. It was a mix of a pug and something that has pointing ears. Weird dog.
This was disturbing, there were a lot of people walking around holding hands. I was starting to wonder if I ended up in a luvy dubby nightmare, where everyone was in love with someone except me. I guess they didn't get the memo that Romance is for books & movies only. It almost seemed like a delusion.
Dream April 19, 2009
I was with a group of people. We were investigating a place. A member of the group found a hidden compartment. I go there and I see on the side is another compartment with had a pile of dolls. Hundreds of them. I wanted to investigate that compartment further but a team member told me to keep moving. We discover another room. This time we were completely in the dark. The room had an illumination to it. Like a disco ball. Even the floors glowed. I saw glass mirrors on the walls. Other team members were being loud. The team leader told them to shut up that they were doing an EVP session. We were hearing noises. Before I know it I'm sky diving. I dont know if the floor fell through or not. I see sky, clouds and eventually vines. I'm in a cave like area. Water is in the middle of it. Kind of deep. Looking around. Somebody makes a wrong move. They lifted something up. It must of been a boobey trap. The water becomes like a rapid and I yell out I don't know how to swim. I grabbed the side of a rock and the dream ends.
Feb 27, 2011
Tonight I talked to my dad's aunt. I have talked to her before. At times it is painful for me to talk to her. Also to my great uncle Earl, who passed away last week. Especially when they start to talk about my grandmother. She suffered so much and over a long period of time. She had cancer for 5 years. She had breast cancer. She had my dad in her mid 30's and two years later she found out she had breast cancer. My dad was seven when she died. She had a breast removed. She even had a hysterectomy. I don't know why. Betty mention they found a polyp in her but they didn't think it was cancerous. It could of been. My aunt Diana a long time ago told me that the cancer eventually spread to her lungs, so technically on her death certificate it says she died of lung cancer. Though it was really breast cancer. Earl had told me he was there the night she had died. Hearing stories of how she suffered it really painful to me and emotionally rips me up.
She died at 43.
It makes me think about my own fate and if this could happen to me.
She died in the 60's and I wonder if the outcome could of been different if she had it today. Now women do survive it. Still many do die. Inflammatory breast cancer has a high mortality rate.
I also can say that I'm jealous of my grandmother, her sister Suzie & Betty. They had great loves of their life. Betty told me that the last memory she had of my grandmother was seeing her in the hospital room and my grandfather holding her hand. She had someone who loved her whole heart in the end. My dad talked about a memory were he remembers her and my grandfather kissing it up in the kitchen. By then they had been married almost 20 years. Can you imagine what is it like to feel passionate about someone after being married almost 20 years? By then these days people are divorced or feel blase' about their spouse. They knew each other since middle school I believe. They went to the same high school. My grandfather was a year older.
They got married as soon as my grandfather got discharge from the service in WWII.
Her sister Suzie married Earl right before my grandparents got married. They got married in the same church. They never had children. But from talking to Earl they had a great marriage. They traveled & saw things and enjoyed each others company.
It was the same for Betty who talks about what a wonderful man and husband my great uncle was. They had children. They traveled. They enjoyed their life together. She tells me the worse part about retiring was losing her husband.
Such great loves on my dads side of the family. I wish had grown up with them. They could of taught me so much.
I'm starting to wonder if the key to a life long partner is to be with the person you fell in love with as children. My sisters grandparents have a similar story. They are still married. They have been in love since they were 13.
Where are the great loves of today?
I think we as a society have become too selfish and cold for that.
She died at 43.
It makes me think about my own fate and if this could happen to me.
She died in the 60's and I wonder if the outcome could of been different if she had it today. Now women do survive it. Still many do die. Inflammatory breast cancer has a high mortality rate.
I also can say that I'm jealous of my grandmother, her sister Suzie & Betty. They had great loves of their life. Betty told me that the last memory she had of my grandmother was seeing her in the hospital room and my grandfather holding her hand. She had someone who loved her whole heart in the end. My dad talked about a memory were he remembers her and my grandfather kissing it up in the kitchen. By then they had been married almost 20 years. Can you imagine what is it like to feel passionate about someone after being married almost 20 years? By then these days people are divorced or feel blase' about their spouse. They knew each other since middle school I believe. They went to the same high school. My grandfather was a year older.
They got married as soon as my grandfather got discharge from the service in WWII.
Her sister Suzie married Earl right before my grandparents got married. They got married in the same church. They never had children. But from talking to Earl they had a great marriage. They traveled & saw things and enjoyed each others company.
It was the same for Betty who talks about what a wonderful man and husband my great uncle was. They had children. They traveled. They enjoyed their life together. She tells me the worse part about retiring was losing her husband.
Such great loves on my dads side of the family. I wish had grown up with them. They could of taught me so much.
I'm starting to wonder if the key to a life long partner is to be with the person you fell in love with as children. My sisters grandparents have a similar story. They are still married. They have been in love since they were 13.
Where are the great loves of today?
I think we as a society have become too selfish and cold for that.
Done with stuff
I have redone my living to to an extent. Bought new used furniture, got rid of my loveseat that only the cats seemed to use, plus a few other items.. For a while my living room had been getting under my nerves. I just knew I needed a change it. I'm back on the genealogy hunt again. I've decided to say good bye to my Live journal. Consolidate as I would put it, since I'm consolidating on other bounds. So I plan on posting here old posts from LJ that I want to save.
Dream Sept 18
A woman has a snake in a box. I never saw it. Just the box. She offers it to me in exchange for Attila. For some reason I accepted. I regretted it immediately. I got to my vet's office to tell them I had given Attila to this lady. I see a lot of random people. I finally find the office manager Perry and I ran into his arms and told him that I had given Attila to this woman. I'm balling my eyes out. He said it was probably for the better. He tells me that it is really busy and walks away. I walk around and I see a orange stripped kitten in a baby bassinet. I find the woman who gave me the snake and I ask her what he eats and she says nothing. I said you didn't feed the snake? I also asked about a snake grabber. I don't remember the end of the dream but all I saw was the box, a snake never emerge. Did I get tricked?
Dream Sept 18
A woman has a snake in a box. I never saw it. Just the box. She offers it to me in exchange for Attila. For some reason I accepted. I regretted it immediately. I got to my vet's office to tell them I had given Attila to this lady. I see a lot of random people. I finally find the office manager Perry and I ran into his arms and told him that I had given Attila to this woman. I'm balling my eyes out. He said it was probably for the better. He tells me that it is really busy and walks away. I walk around and I see a orange stripped kitten in a baby bassinet. I find the woman who gave me the snake and I ask her what he eats and she says nothing. I said you didn't feed the snake? I also asked about a snake grabber. I don't remember the end of the dream but all I saw was the box, a snake never emerge. Did I get tricked?
Friday, February 24, 2012
Rhetorical question
Rhetorical question
This is from a post from another blog of mine but I wanted to share.
I saw a commercial with little girls and they were talking about how when we are grown up people say that they can be whatever we want. Or what the commercial should say is you can be what you want as long as it conforms to societies expectations. I don't understand is as children we are encouraged to be whatever we want. When we try to be what we want as adults, we are told that is impossible or what is the point of being that. That isn't going to make a lot of money. Or what is Anthropology? What are you suppose to do with that? IT would just be nice as adults, we could have the same encouragement and guidance as when we were children. I think adults would of more fulling existences if there wasn't as much you can't do that.Or that is impossible.
This is from a post from another blog of mine but I wanted to share.
I saw a commercial with little girls and they were talking about how when we are grown up people say that they can be whatever we want. Or what the commercial should say is you can be what you want as long as it conforms to societies expectations. I don't understand is as children we are encouraged to be whatever we want. When we try to be what we want as adults, we are told that is impossible or what is the point of being that. That isn't going to make a lot of money. Or what is Anthropology? What are you suppose to do with that? IT would just be nice as adults, we could have the same encouragement and guidance as when we were children. I think adults would of more fulling existences if there wasn't as much you can't do that.Or that is impossible.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Life & Death of Attila
I've had Attila for almost 11 years. I got him from Lakeland Animal Shelter in Elkhorn.. When I went to the shelter I had my heart set on getting another black cat. My previous cat Cuddles was a black cat. Really I just wanted a snugly lap cat.. I found it in Attila. When I saw him in a cage, part of his body was shaved off, he had no hair on his tail. Apparently when he was found, he was so knotted up they had to shave him. I put my fingers in his cage and he rubbed up against me. A person at the shelter took him out of his cage and put him on my lap and on my lap he has stayed for the past 11 years. Was it love at first sight or destiny that is up to you. I like to think that cats pick you and not the other way around.
BTW the name Attila was the name on the cage at the shelter. The lady at the shelter wanted me to name him Pepper because of the freckles on his nose. I was gonna name him Caesar because he was gonna be emperor of the house. Attila was fine with me. Attila the hunny bunny, I prefer.
He had a life of snuggles, sleeping and eating. Everything a male dreams about I guess. I notice a few aliments here and there but it wasn't until June that shit hit the fan. He was diagnosed with kidney disease, he had blockage in his bowels and bladder. He pulled through. Every week since his diagnosis, he has been going to Bayshore Veterinary for fluids. Every month since then up until a few short weeks ago he has been stable, and gaining weight.
What went wrong?
About 2 weeks or so ago I started to notice that his breathe was really stinky. Then I started to notice that his teeth weren't looking right. All of a sudden the left side of his face didn't look right. On Friday the vet tech asked me "did you notice his face is swollen" and I said yes and I wanted it to be looked at.. So the vet looked at him and said it was possibly a tumor by the look of it in his mouth. He gave me an option to have it sampled or to take antibiotics just in came it was an infection. Well I took the antibiotics. I just wanted to give it the benefit out the doubt. Though deep in my heart I knew it was probably a tumor. My dad had a dog name Tank that suffered from a tumor in the mouth and he had to be put down.
I was suppose to bring Attila back in a week for a check up. I had a horrible feeling that the next few days were going to be our last. I swear when the vet told me it was possible that it was a tumor that the word Game Over flashed above his head.
Over the weekend he did his normal cat things like eat and wanted snuggles but also seemed subdued. He slept a lot in the same place and I could tell he just wasn't up to par. Also the swelling in his mouth didn't go down.
Here comes Monday. Monday I had a meeting mid morning so I was up by 8. I gave him some canned food with the antibiotic. He perked up at the sound of the can but didn't get off the couch so I just gave it to him on the couch.. At one point he jumped on my lap for snuggles. Eventually he went into the bedroom and spent the rest of the morning there. After my meeting I went to the bedroom and petted his head and noticed that some brown ooze was coming out of his mouth. When he opened his mouth I knew something wasn't right.
So I took him to the vet. They sedated him and did an X-Ray. When the vet came him and put the X-Ray on the window, it knew it was over. The tumor was huge it took over the whole half of his mouth. Attila had already started to loose teeth.
I could of taken him home for the night but I just couldn't do it. The thought of him just being home and in pain would of just ripped me up. He was already sedated so I just decided to let him go. They brought him in and he was wrapped in a towel, so he was warm. I just balled my eyes out, petted his head and told him I loved him and I was gonna miss him. I think I just repeating I gonna miss you. At one point he lifted his head up.
I don' know if he was trying to come out of it, or if he was just trying to let me know Its ok or please don't do this to me. Eventually he put his head down. The vet came back in and did what he did and it was over.After that I stayed with him and balled some more. Eventually I asked for some of his hair and I went home. Balled some more.
Attila really tried to hide it from me. He was a true stoic. There is just so much we can learn by taking care of an animal or a person. Love, compassion, empathy. Know when to keep going and when its time to say good bye. .Emotionally I'll never let him go.
BTW the name Attila was the name on the cage at the shelter. The lady at the shelter wanted me to name him Pepper because of the freckles on his nose. I was gonna name him Caesar because he was gonna be emperor of the house. Attila was fine with me. Attila the hunny bunny, I prefer.
He had a life of snuggles, sleeping and eating. Everything a male dreams about I guess. I notice a few aliments here and there but it wasn't until June that shit hit the fan. He was diagnosed with kidney disease, he had blockage in his bowels and bladder. He pulled through. Every week since his diagnosis, he has been going to Bayshore Veterinary for fluids. Every month since then up until a few short weeks ago he has been stable, and gaining weight.
What went wrong?
About 2 weeks or so ago I started to notice that his breathe was really stinky. Then I started to notice that his teeth weren't looking right. All of a sudden the left side of his face didn't look right. On Friday the vet tech asked me "did you notice his face is swollen" and I said yes and I wanted it to be looked at.. So the vet looked at him and said it was possibly a tumor by the look of it in his mouth. He gave me an option to have it sampled or to take antibiotics just in came it was an infection. Well I took the antibiotics. I just wanted to give it the benefit out the doubt. Though deep in my heart I knew it was probably a tumor. My dad had a dog name Tank that suffered from a tumor in the mouth and he had to be put down.
I was suppose to bring Attila back in a week for a check up. I had a horrible feeling that the next few days were going to be our last. I swear when the vet told me it was possible that it was a tumor that the word Game Over flashed above his head.
Over the weekend he did his normal cat things like eat and wanted snuggles but also seemed subdued. He slept a lot in the same place and I could tell he just wasn't up to par. Also the swelling in his mouth didn't go down.
Here comes Monday. Monday I had a meeting mid morning so I was up by 8. I gave him some canned food with the antibiotic. He perked up at the sound of the can but didn't get off the couch so I just gave it to him on the couch.. At one point he jumped on my lap for snuggles. Eventually he went into the bedroom and spent the rest of the morning there. After my meeting I went to the bedroom and petted his head and noticed that some brown ooze was coming out of his mouth. When he opened his mouth I knew something wasn't right.
So I took him to the vet. They sedated him and did an X-Ray. When the vet came him and put the X-Ray on the window, it knew it was over. The tumor was huge it took over the whole half of his mouth. Attila had already started to loose teeth.
I could of taken him home for the night but I just couldn't do it. The thought of him just being home and in pain would of just ripped me up. He was already sedated so I just decided to let him go. They brought him in and he was wrapped in a towel, so he was warm. I just balled my eyes out, petted his head and told him I loved him and I was gonna miss him. I think I just repeating I gonna miss you. At one point he lifted his head up.
I don' know if he was trying to come out of it, or if he was just trying to let me know Its ok or please don't do this to me. Eventually he put his head down. The vet came back in and did what he did and it was over.After that I stayed with him and balled some more. Eventually I asked for some of his hair and I went home. Balled some more.
Attila really tried to hide it from me. He was a true stoic. There is just so much we can learn by taking care of an animal or a person. Love, compassion, empathy. Know when to keep going and when its time to say good bye. .Emotionally I'll never let him go.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Greener pastures?
Well the snow has finally come to bite us in the ass. I have been enjoying this winter. Its something unusual. I normally have cabin fever and I'm stuck in the snow.
Speaking of being stuck. There is something I have been pondering about for a while now, and that is greener pastures. Its something I think about. Its a mentality that I think some of us get into when we feel stuck in life, needing or wanting a change and wondering if things would be better if I was somewhere else. Is this good? Healthy?
For a while now I have been feeling stuck not going anywhere. I know some of it is me and sometimes I wonder if its my location. I like Milwaukee but somethings are getting under my nerves for a while. The recession has hurt the city a lot. Even though unemployment has dropped nation wide it has not here in the city. I've had several jobs fall through. Milwaukee has turned into the 4th poorest city in the country and I feel like nobody is fixing it or wants to. Plus every year there is always problems in the budget for public transportation. Mass trans is important to me. Its my only means of getting around besides begging for a ride from people which I don't like to do. Its my independence, its my ride.Hey that is the slogan for Milwaukee Transit System.
For a while I have been thinking about Madison. It doesn't have the mass transit budget problems like Milwaukee does. The unemployment is lower. Other than that I really don't know much about Madison. I've heard its nice to live. Whether or not that is true, I have no clue. I have only been there a few times. My other issue is do I have the balls to do it? Start over. I hate moving Hmmm.... Also finances is a big issue. I live on little. Its kind of like a dog trying to catch its own tail. I need money to move. Money which I don't have. Which is why I need a job. But if I have a job why would I want to move?
Sometimes I wonder if a city outside of WI would be better but I am uncertain about that 3 things would be a factor, location, mass transit and healthcare. Having Spina Bifida healthcare is always a factor no matter where I live. I need decent specialists. It's my lifeline. I wonder what cities are the most handicapped accessible?
So are there really greener pastures? Or is it just wishful thinking. All I know is that I want out of the mud and in the sun.
Speaking of being stuck. There is something I have been pondering about for a while now, and that is greener pastures. Its something I think about. Its a mentality that I think some of us get into when we feel stuck in life, needing or wanting a change and wondering if things would be better if I was somewhere else. Is this good? Healthy?
For a while now I have been feeling stuck not going anywhere. I know some of it is me and sometimes I wonder if its my location. I like Milwaukee but somethings are getting under my nerves for a while. The recession has hurt the city a lot. Even though unemployment has dropped nation wide it has not here in the city. I've had several jobs fall through. Milwaukee has turned into the 4th poorest city in the country and I feel like nobody is fixing it or wants to. Plus every year there is always problems in the budget for public transportation. Mass trans is important to me. Its my only means of getting around besides begging for a ride from people which I don't like to do. Its my independence, its my ride.Hey that is the slogan for Milwaukee Transit System.
For a while I have been thinking about Madison. It doesn't have the mass transit budget problems like Milwaukee does. The unemployment is lower. Other than that I really don't know much about Madison. I've heard its nice to live. Whether or not that is true, I have no clue. I have only been there a few times. My other issue is do I have the balls to do it? Start over. I hate moving Hmmm.... Also finances is a big issue. I live on little. Its kind of like a dog trying to catch its own tail. I need money to move. Money which I don't have. Which is why I need a job. But if I have a job why would I want to move?
Sometimes I wonder if a city outside of WI would be better but I am uncertain about that 3 things would be a factor, location, mass transit and healthcare. Having Spina Bifida healthcare is always a factor no matter where I live. I need decent specialists. It's my lifeline. I wonder what cities are the most handicapped accessible?
So are there really greener pastures? Or is it just wishful thinking. All I know is that I want out of the mud and in the sun.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
New Year
Happy New Year to you all.
I spent my New Year's not watching Dick Clark but watching Young Frankenstein. I thought I shake it up this year. Normally I would be watching that but I decided meh. I went to the Cleopatra exhibit yesterday at the Milwaukee Public Museum. I'm now volunteering there. I have to say that i liked the Mummies of the World exhibit more but I still enjoyed Cleopatra. There was great presentation. Lots of video clips, maps and pictures. I wished there was more artifacts. I did see great statues and busts. They had two very tall statues of the god Amon. As I was looking up, I was thinking man that had to be a bitch to get into and assemble in the museum. . One statue impressed me most because I was thinking how well made it was. The statue looks like it was wearing linen but you can see through it. There were coins. jewelry and other artifacts. My audio tour did go out on me in the middle of the tour. It was probably just the device.I think for people who don't know much about Cleopatra will enjoy this exhibit. Its a bit pricy, so you might want to go alone or look at the group deal. $27 includes admission to the main museum.
As I was going through the exhibit, was also thinking about craftsmanship. How well this was all made and wondering why this kind of craftsmanship isn't more prevalent today. .
I spent my New Year's not watching Dick Clark but watching Young Frankenstein. I thought I shake it up this year. Normally I would be watching that but I decided meh. I went to the Cleopatra exhibit yesterday at the Milwaukee Public Museum. I'm now volunteering there. I have to say that i liked the Mummies of the World exhibit more but I still enjoyed Cleopatra. There was great presentation. Lots of video clips, maps and pictures. I wished there was more artifacts. I did see great statues and busts. They had two very tall statues of the god Amon. As I was looking up, I was thinking man that had to be a bitch to get into and assemble in the museum. . One statue impressed me most because I was thinking how well made it was. The statue looks like it was wearing linen but you can see through it. There were coins. jewelry and other artifacts. My audio tour did go out on me in the middle of the tour. It was probably just the device.I think for people who don't know much about Cleopatra will enjoy this exhibit. Its a bit pricy, so you might want to go alone or look at the group deal. $27 includes admission to the main museum.
As I was going through the exhibit, was also thinking about craftsmanship. How well this was all made and wondering why this kind of craftsmanship isn't more prevalent today. .
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