Tonight I talked to my dad's aunt. I have talked to her before. At times it is painful for me to talk to her. Also to my great uncle Earl, who passed away last week. Especially when they start to talk about my grandmother. She suffered so much and over a long period of time. She had cancer for 5 years. She had breast cancer. She had my dad in her mid 30's and two years later she found out she had breast cancer. My dad was seven when she died. She had a breast removed. She even had a hysterectomy. I don't know why. Betty mention they found a polyp in her but they didn't think it was cancerous. It could of been. My aunt Diana a long time ago told me that the cancer eventually spread to her lungs, so technically on her death certificate it says she died of lung cancer. Though it was really breast cancer. Earl had told me he was there the night she had died. Hearing stories of how she suffered it really painful to me and emotionally rips me up.
She died at 43.
It makes me think about my own fate and if this could happen to me.
She died in the 60's and I wonder if the outcome could of been different if she had it today. Now women do survive it. Still many do die. Inflammatory breast cancer has a high mortality rate.
I also can say that I'm jealous of my grandmother, her sister Suzie & Betty. They had great loves of their life. Betty told me that the last memory she had of my grandmother was seeing her in the hospital room and my grandfather holding her hand. She had someone who loved her whole heart in the end. My dad talked about a memory were he remembers her and my grandfather kissing it up in the kitchen. By then they had been married almost 20 years. Can you imagine what is it like to feel passionate about someone after being married almost 20 years? By then these days people are divorced or feel blase' about their spouse. They knew each other since middle school I believe. They went to the same high school. My grandfather was a year older.
They got married as soon as my grandfather got discharge from the service in WWII.
Her sister Suzie married Earl right before my grandparents got married. They got married in the same church. They never had children. But from talking to Earl they had a great marriage. They traveled & saw things and enjoyed each others company.
It was the same for Betty who talks about what a wonderful man and husband my great uncle was. They had children. They traveled. They enjoyed their life together. She tells me the worse part about retiring was losing her husband.
Such great loves on my dads side of the family. I wish had grown up with them. They could of taught me so much.
I'm starting to wonder if the key to a life long partner is to be with the person you fell in love with as children. My sisters grandparents have a similar story. They are still married. They have been in love since they were 13.
Where are the great loves of today?
I think we as a society have become too selfish and cold for that.
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